NEW YORKER, WTF!?

You know how the magazine the New Yorker always has those caption contests on the last page? And they show some kind of cartoon that could be social satire, or could depict some kind of allegory for current events but the picture is always just kind of wacky. Readers always send it witty captions to try and win the contest. And the first time I actually tried this contest, I didn't win. So you know there's something wrong with it. That first cartoon showed one jet pilot, helmet under arm, standing in front of a jet with a baffled stare. The jet was wearing high heels instead of having rear landing gear. A second jet pilot was climbing into the cockpit and his mouth was open as if he was saying something. So my caption was, "They give my tail more of a lift" BRILLIANT! Do you see how that works on so many fucking levels that it almost isn't funny? It should just be picked apart in thinktanks and college courses constructed around it. So now, seeing as the New Yorker must just be a bunch of stuck up assholes who know each other, I have stopped producing gems like that one and I simply send in a variation of the phrase "What tThe Fuck" to every-single contest. Because it basically works for each cartoon. And eventually, someone over in New York is going to have to appreciate that. Don't believe me? Watch:

uhh, WTF?

WTF!!!

(sotto voce) what the fuck...

Hey, WTF!?

I like my chances.