25 THINGS TO DO IN BOSTON UNDER $25....LIKE RIDE A BIKE! RELAX IN A HOT TUB! OR DYKE IT OUT!

That is some hot lesbian action.  I love it.  I Love It. If you asked me this morning, "fuzzy, you think you'll jerk off to boston.com today?"  I would have answered you--hands down---"You know what, there's a slight chance."  Love it.  

YOU SURE YOU'RE DOING THAT RIGHT?

This guy need a spot? Or perhaps some actual exercise equipment? No? Ok.  Looking good.  

I was reading an exercise magazine (Because, and I'm not bragging or anything--but I work out and I can read.  No big deal but it is.) and this picture was there.  Can anyone suggest what exercise this guy is doing?  It looks hard. I'll stick to the jump rope.

JOSH HAMILTON IS THE TEXAS NIGHT RANGER

(espn.go.com) Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton, who has battled drug and alcohol addictions, had a relapse with alcohol this week, according to a source.

The Rangers said through a team spokesman that they are "aware of a situation but have no further comment at this time."

It was still unclear exactly what circumstances led Hamilton to suffer his relapse, which was reported by The Dallas Morning News earlier Thursday, but he has battled to stay sober since an incident in a Tempe, Ariz., bar a little more than three years ago.

Then, he was photographed drinking with several women and those pictures went viral about seven months later. Hamilton spoke to the media about it at that time and apologized, saying: "I hate that this happened."

When that occurred, Hamilton immediately called the Rangers and MLB. He passed a drug test shortly thereafter and went through league-sanctioned counseling. Hamilton also made sure his support system was fully in place, including having Johnny Narron, his "accountability partner" at the time, with him at spring training and through the rest of the season.

Hamilton, 30, was banned from baseball in 2003 for drug and alcohol use while in the Tampa Bay organization. He was reinstated in 2006 and is drug tested three times a week.

Pretty big yet news that no one should care about.  So let me just cut to the core and say I know why Josh Hamilton relapsed, I know exactly why and there is no arguing.  Also, he will not become a strung out junkbag. He'll be fine.  I'll show you evidence to support my optimistic claim and all will be well:

EXHIBIT A1

"he was photographed drinking with several women"

If there's ever a time to break your sobriety pledge it is when "several women" are involved.  In fact that is the one circumstance that must be in the situation that causes you to break your sobriety pledge.  No Q's A'd.  Like if you break it because of one woman or like you went to watch the super bowl with a couple of dudes, let's face it, you probably weren't gonna make it much longer anyway.   

Now, these pictures are from an earlier incident so I'm not 100% sure that the reason he cracked this time around is exactly the same but I'm willing to bet a fuzzy five dollars that it's pretty damn similar.

EXHIBIT A2

Look at that smile, he looks like someone who devoted his entire life to a religion and just died and is walking into whatever form of Heaven it is he believes existed and lived holy to get to.  And YES, Heaven is three sweet-toothed chicks with a fridge full of whipped cream.

EXHIBIT A3

Same batter. Same stance. Different box.

EXHIBIT A4

Yup.

I rest my case.  And I'm moving to Dallas.

RELAXTIM.WORDPRESS.COM IS BLOGGING LIKE YOU NEVER SEEN

http://relaxtim.wordpress.com is the brain behind @relaxtim on Twitter. Kids knows his shit and talks plenty. Get at this site. 

 relaxtim can't swim. So what? Know who else can't swim? tyrannosaurus rex dinosaurs and they're pretty bad ass. So start following his blog. He is just ranting and raving all over the place.

 Go see for yourself here relaxtim.wordpress.com

FAKE SIX-PACK IMPLANTS? WHERE DO I SIGN?

So you're telling me that all this time I spend in the gym, like 25 minutes every other couple of days, and I could just have a six-pack medically implanted into my stomach?  Umm, yes please.  And I'll take the brown nipple option as well.  Save the mohawk though because errbody already knows umma rebel.

"(mirror.co.uk) -- Darryn Lyons went topless in the Celebrity Big Brother house today - and opened up to Paddy Doherty about the cosmetic surgery which gave him a toned tummy.

Mr Paparazzi revealed his turtle style abs in the house, showing it is not just the girls in the house who have had a little extra help with their appearance.

The 46-year-old had a 'contouring' procedure to create a washboard stomach."

Anyone else thinks this is great news? FUCK the gym, shit sucks.  Only question is can I get some pecs implanted as well?  Throw some shoulders in there and i'll be looking like Arnold.  Instead of going to the gym I'll just stay in my room, oil myself up and throw knives at the wall saying "STICK AROUND."




I am really considering this surgery (that is, until I hear the price) because I don't have a six pack and I fucking murder the gym.  When I walk out of the gym it won't make eye contact with me.  It flinches when I raise my hand.  Even other people at the gym feel traumatized by what they see.  I usually have to lay low for a few just in case my gym presses rape charges against me.  Do you understand? Let me put it this way: I am to my gym what Joe Jackson is to Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael.  And Ben.

Oh, and when i say "fucking murder the gym" i mean listen to techno and jump rope then go hover around real heavy weights so people walking by think I'm using them.   I even found that the best way to up my max bench is to just lie about what my max bench is. It's 375 lbs, by the way. (see?)

I kind of want to make sure I find the best for this operation though, because all jokes aside the guy Lyons in the picture up top looks like the hunchback from the movie 300.  Like he looks jacked but he's not strut-around-Nantasket-beach jacked.  He might pass for muscle at Wollaston Beach but he ain't primetime.

IS MONTEL WILLIAMS LOOKING FOR WORK?

Was just up the berber shop gittin my hair chopped and I saw a commercial with what looked like Montel Williams.  Get home and do a little research and find that it is indeed Montel.  Is his show cancelled or what?  I guess they must have found all the babies' daddies.  Chalk one up for Obama.