FLASH MOBS...SO HOT RIGHT NOW

That was a pretty slick surprise. All the way down to how they had the guy dress up like a janitor...but I hope that floor wasn't actually wet because someone may have slipped on it after he took the sign.

This video has over 20 million hits right now, it's not as good as the dancing wedding line, but it's pretty damn good. Now CUE the endless imitators its going to spawn. Everyone is going to try and top it. And as others 'try' I will 'do.' Check this out: I am going to organize a Flash Orgy. Imagine those news reports?

Picture it: it'd be basically the same scene as in the video above, in a crowded mall food court. All of a sudden a woman stands up and screams "OH YEAH! SEX!" and starts taking her clothes off. So everyone looks at her and is like WTF? Then a guy way up in the rafters screams "SEX? OHHH YEEEAAAH!" and hits play on a giant boombox he's holding Now everyone is looking up at him and notices he's harnessed--naked--to a zipline. So then he ziplines down over the crowd and lands in the woman..then a janitor rips off his coveralls, throws a fistful of glitter in the air and screams "FLASH ORGY!" Then it would just-get-WILD. Techno is shaking the room, Naked people would start popping up outta trash cans and closets and start doing it on all the tables. I'd pay a guy to turn the light switches on and off really fast so the room's light strobed.  Imagine how many YouTube hits that'd get?

NOVEMBER 10 IS MIKE MITCHELL DAY

Mike Mitchell Day in Quincy, MA from WGO Show on Vimeo.

Awesome.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. And it's right before my birthday, double celebration next year. But somebody better check on Michael Cassady there because I think he just got on the G-Town bus. Considering he calls it Quin-cee, I'd imagine he'd have a bit of trouble out there.

I've heard about Mike's show, plus he is in a group called the Birthday Boys they just put out a funny video about Pool Jumpers.  It is a wicked funny spoof on Dog Town and teh Z Boys.... "I must have got kicked out of 30,40 pools a summer---and those were just my family and friends."  If you've seen any of those documentaries about people who started popular trends, anything from graffiti to skating in pools to Canadian curling, the Birthday Boys take that tone and play it perfectly.  Check it out.

Here is Mike MItchell's talk show webpage:
What's Going On with Quincy's own Mike Mitchell

THE W-T-F-LINK OF THE DAY

So do I masturbate or not?

I don't know if you wanna see more pictures like this, but you should click that link because they're friggin hilarious.  It's all "creative" ideas of pregnancy pictures.    I'm trying to come up with my own ideas now, but it'd be pretty tough to top these folks.  I'm thinking the only way I could be more outrageous was if my picture had TWO pregnant women, showed penetration, one prego was holding a bazooka and I was performing some kind of feat of strength like holding a dumbbell overhead and fighting off a wild animal at the same time.  It's gonna be tough but the showman inside of me is telling me I gotta give it a try...


Thanks to Kikken for helping a brother out and sharing this.

BRETT FAVRE'S STREAK ENDS

I love it.  It's over.  Now we can focus on the real news...like North Korea trying to book Eric Clapton for a concert, "Raaayrahh....got Kim-Jong on my knees, Rayrah."

This was definitely way more complicated and drawn out than it had to be.  And no not even just his retirement in general (knock on wood), I mean just his status for this past week.  The guy's shoulder is decimated.  Was it just that nobody had the balls to drop reality on him?  Because I could have done it.  Hey Brett, your shoulder is fucked.  You probably couldn't even pick up your dick to sext it to anyone.  I'd say chucking the pigskin 50 yards is out of the question. 

But I bet it wasn't that no one would tell him, I bet it's just that trying to tell him he can't play is like trying to hammer nails into concrete.  It's probably a running joke at his doctor's office.  All the nurses are huddled outside the door laughing as the Doctor explains, "In my medical opinion, it would be impossible for you to play the quarterback position at a competitive level given that your throwing arm is hanging onto your body by a thread."  Brett is like, "Well, don't sugar-coat it man. What odds ya givin' me, like 50-50?" 

When Brett Favre dies, probably a 1000 years from now, I hope his tombstone reads: 

Here Lies The Body Of

Brett Favre

b. 10/10/1969  -  d.12/14/3010

....he'll be a game time decision on Sunday.

THE GREATEST STORY NEVER TOLD...UNTIL NOW

  CLEVELAND - A Cleveland bartender whose more than $3,600 in accumulated tips blew away says he's lucky the money was found by two apparently honest men.

Michael May said he was almost in tears last weekend after he realized he'd driven off with a pouch containing the cash sitting on the roof of his car.


Cleveland downtown safety monitor David Hamilton found the bag lying in the street and kept it away from a homeless person who tried to take it away.

Hamilton and his team leader at the nonprofit Downtown Cleveland Alliance turned the money over to police, who traced it to May through bank receipts and checkbooks in the pouch.
May plans to give a reward to Hamilton and the team leader. Police will honor Hamilton at a ceremony next week.


This is a nice story, you know I like 'people-helping-people' and it's good to see a bartender come out on top.  But one thing about this story catches my eye....let's rewind a bit:
"Cleveland downtown safety monitor David Hamilton found the bag lying in the street and kept it away from a homeless person who tried to take it away... " 

OK. Hold on, what was that last part again?
"...David Hamilton found the bag lying in the street and kept it away from a homeless person who tried to take it away... "

That very last part again, just one more time but in slow motion please...
"keeeptt iiitt aawwaaayy ffrrrooomm aa hhooommmlleessss pppeerrrsssooonnn..."
 
Whoa.

Whoever wrote this up is lazy as hell, because within this news blurb there is probably an entire book to be told.  You could probably pitch this to a movie studio as a summer blockbuster,  maybe even craft an epic out of it.

The man fought off a homeless guy for 3,600 dollars!!  It's like a modern-day 'The Old Man And The Sea'--it's an unstoppable force meeting an insoberable object.  This guy Dave must be pure balls, could you ever imagine going toe-to-toe with a homeless guy for found cash?  $3,600 is enough for that bum to drink for like a week.   Have you ever even seen a bum fight? Their tenacity is unmatched.  And plus, homeless guys love found-cash like dragons love princesses.  It would take Super fucken Mario to get that cash away from that bum,  matter of fact I think Dave Hamilton should just go ahead and legally change his name to 'Mr. Super Mario.' or how about  'Mr. Pure Fucken-Balls.' a hyphen works there right?

Oh,, and just to show you how serious I am about this, I've already assembled the cast for the movie:

For the actor to play David Hamilton, a.k.a. Mr. Fucken-Balls, I'm gonna suggest Andrew Lincoln from the new AMC show 'The Walking Dead,'

 because homeless people and zombies are pretty interchangable,  meaning he wouldn't have to do too much character studying.  That's gonna help if we're gonna hit our release date of Summer 2011.

For the homeless guy I'm thinking Nick Nolte;

I'm pretty sure his schedule is clear, and it would reduce costs on makeup and wardrobe.

For the hot chick that Lincoln will fall in love with (I'm just following the movie formula here, people) let's contact the background dancer from Pitbull's "I know you want me" video.  Sagia Castañeda:

just because she is sooo crazy hot.  She is so hot that I spent $1000 on the Spanish Rosetta Stone just in case I ever meet her.  Oh, but she's not as hot as my girlfriend tho...(lo siento Miss Castaneda, Ella lee mi blog...llamame coña)

We could get Rufus the Stunt Bum involved

He'd be be our on-set coordinator, make sure everything is portrayed accurately. And, naturally, he'd do bum stunts.

Lastly we just need to score a big name Director to garner attention...like a Peter Jackson.  Or Clint Eastwood who could make this so gritty you'd be spittin' it out as you left the theater.   Maybe we could go real stylistic and get Q.T.?  Doesn't matter much because there won't be much to direct, this is the kind of story that will just tell itself; this is the kind of story that has been waiting to tell itself.  There's only one director I want to stay away from and that is Ron Howard; I don't want this project to turn into a dramatic tear-jerker.  There's no crying in bum fights.

ANGRY BIRDS IS HOLDING ME HOSTAGE

So I'm pretty sure everyone has probably heard of this game by now because I'm always months behind the 'What's Hot' curve.  But just a few days ago some friends told me to download an app game "Angry Birds"  because it's on the Android market now.  So, per usual, I put off doing it for a few days and then downloaded.  Not a word of a lie, I started playing it and then I woke up 14 hours later with dirty underwear.  I just went into a gamer-trance.  The game is pure addiction.   It's the kind of game that makes you see how  those Asian guys die during  72-hour gaming sessions because they didn't stop playing to go the bathroom or eat.  I sympathize with those guys; matter of fact I've just started playing right while sitting on the toilet.  Problem solved.  Wanna borrow my phone now?

I highly recommend downloading it, as long as you don't have anything important to do in the next week, or even better if you are about to serve a life sentence.  And  actually, though I can't confirm it,  I heard a rumor that Angry Birds is why Charles Manson snuck a cell phone into prison. If playing Angry Birds instead of sleeping is crazy, then you can call me Charles Manson.

HOW HIGH?

I love it. Great pun, well done. At first I was pissed because I thought for sure that my "MORE RIPPED THAN OCTOMOM'S PUSSY" T-shirt idea was better, but then again a giraffe's pussy is pretty, pretty, pretty high. Plus my shirt would be much more graphic.  Like so graphic it would have put Ed Hardy to shame.  Wait-wait--more like-wait, More like Ed Hard-ly...myeahhh!! im such a loser.

Thanks to Kevin Poolausky (sp.?) for the pic

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SON OF FUZZY GETS PUBLISHED

Look, I know the blog has been slacking lately but that's because my home computer crashed and I have about as much of a clue as that fugly monkey up there as to how to fix it. Which is why I've been Android blogging from my intelligent cellular telephone.  And since bloggers don't make a million bucks (in fact, I don't even get paid for this.  can you believe that?  Well, Bah-leee-dat!) I have to wait a bit to buy a new computer-thingy.  But in the stead of blog posts, sonoffuzzy.blogspot.com has gone to print.  Dirty Water News contacted me (read: I harrassed them until they caved) to write an article for their 'Trends' section.   This article is from a few weeks back, like 1 month and a half worth of weeks, and so here's the link to the site and the article:

  http://dirtywaternews.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=723:heres-to-bostons-plain-clothed-supermen-and-superladies&catid=68:trends&Itemid=128


People Helping People Is Making A Comeback!


Trends . You know , I nearly chose to write about the trend of dressing up as Snooki and The Situation for Halloween this year. I was gonna write about each costume I saw and detail whose was best and why. But I don’t really have the inclination, or the word count for that matter, so I decided to write about a more subtle costume people have been wearing lately: The Plain Clothed Superman.


I don’t know if it’s just me, but I have been seeing a lot more of ‘people-helping-people’ going on. Just the other day at Downtown Crossing I was wowed with kindness. I heard my incoming train announced over the intercom and quickly slipped two crisp one-dollar bills into the Charlie Card machine. It gave me a ticket and I hustled to the turnstile and slipped the ticket in. “EH-EH!” I tried again, “EH-EH!” I look at the ticket and I see printed, “Remaining Value: $2.” I look at the turnstiles’ display screen “Insufficient funds.”


Now, just as I’m about to locate the nearest authority and politely inquire “What the problem is?” (read:. lose my sanity and end up on the 7 o’clock news) a man who rushed through the adjacent turnstile presumably to catch that same incoming train observed my predicament. This bearded Jesus walks back and waves his hand in front of the exit sensor. The doors zoom open and I step through. All I can do is look at the Plain Clothed Superman and say, “That. Was. Awesome.” With no time for thanks he turned and hurried down the stairs. It was the most badass act of kindness I’ve seen in a hot minute.


I remember when this kind of kindness was everywhere. Right after September 11, 2001. Americans just wanted to help any other who needed it. Drivers offered the right away. Young kids held the door for the elderly. While Frank Sinatra sang “Stormy Weather” the flies and spiders got along together. When grifters looked at me and desperately asked, “Spare Change?” I stopped giving my usual response of, “No thanks, I have plenty!” and just silently walked by them instead.


If it takes more than one act of kindness to sell you then dig this: I was walking down the street looking like a tourist and taking random street shots with my new DSLR and saw a photo opportunity across a busy street. I stopped, kneeled, framed, and waited for the traffic to slow so I could get a clean shot. Then I see a clear shot through my view-finder and take it. When I lower my camera and stand up I notice a large MBTA bus to my leftfront side. The driver is smiling and looking at me. She saw me lining up my shot and stopped 40 yards behind the red light just to let me take it. That sort of caring awareness should be awarded and so I figured I’d give a quick shout-out to these two awesome Bostonians.


So how about you support this trend, especially if you were one of the million to dress up as Snooki or The Situation. Hold a door, give up your seat on the train, offer the right away, help someone get on the T for free. Hey, maybe even spare some change. DWN


BOOM! That just happened!!!

And, actually, it's not made up.  And judging from the massive amounts of feedback I've got I'd say it's safe to say.....ok I made that part up, I've gotten no feedback.  But in a related incident, I recently was able to 'Pay it Forward' from the Bearded Jesus who helped me get onto the T.  I walked into South Station and see two girls were already through and a third girl was having trouble with her Charlie Card.  So after I get through the turnstyle I walked over, wiiicked smooth, and waved my hand in front of the sensor.  And the girl stepped through and they were all THANKS YAY, and I stood there for a half second and just as I'm about to drop my signiture opening line of "Laaddiiiieeeesss..." I thought, WWBJD?!, So as I'm about to speak I break into a hobbled sprint--like I ran walked away.   I completely blew my cool and I might have drooled a little bit because my mouth was open.  I could hear them in the background laughing at what a geek I was.   I just wanted to be like the guy who helped me; casually selfless.  Instead, I looked socially awkward and mildly impaired.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TURKIES!

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I SAW THIS AD ON A REDLINE TRAIN. TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Okay, you probably see it's for the New England School of Photography.  You may also notice the woman getting the  facial.  But that's not what I noticed.....look closer.





closer.....





yes now you see something...but look even clloooosssseerrr....


BAM!  CLOWN PENIS!

What is going on here??  Is this clown rape??  Because those are clown pants--making that a clown boner.  And some poor girl is whimpering in the corner.  Clown Rape.  Clear case, cut and dried.

I just want to talk with whoever put this sexually charged ad together.  I wouldn't even argue or speak, I'd just listen. Like for starters, there's the chick on the left--pretty suggestive.  Then there's the two guys down bottom wrestling with each other.  And I know that wrestling is "real" and the UFC is "tough" but I kind of think it just looks like two mentally challenged gay guys trying to figure out how to have sex. 

And don't be a scenester and call this art just because they're pictures, fuzzy don't play dat.  There is nothing beautiful about clowns having sex.  Like, imagine trying to sexually please a girl wearing sad face clown makeup. It'd be impossible, no matter how hard you tried she'd just be laying there looking all sad.   That would take a very self-confident man to even try.  I'd have to bring a sharpie along and draw a smile on.

I think the only thing that could be creepier than this ad itself would have been if I stared at it for so long that when I looked back around the train car I noticed it was only me and a clown left.  Goosebumps shit right there.

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YUP. THAT'S A SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH WITH A JBC IN IT. DIG IT.

Classic Joe Cox.

When you dine with Joe, you dine with greatness. This makes the KFC Double-down look like an anorexic girl's snack.

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HIDE YA KIDS--HIDE YA WIIIIFE

And hide ya husbands cause Antoin Dodson rapin errebody up in  BET's Hip HOp Awards.   Don't call him a one hit wonder.

BEST BAR JOKE FROM THE WEEKEND

So after another weekend in the bar, and many, many jokes, I've narrowed it down to the best of the best....of what I can remember. This joke I am especially proud to present to everyone because it came to me as an original from the one and only Rudy Rock...and No, that's not his porn name that's his real name:

I woke up this past Sunday and turned over to my wife and said, "Ya know, I'm feeling a bit horny right now." And my wife said, "Ah, I'm horny too! What do you want to do?" She asked smiling.

So I told her, "Well, I want to try something a little exotic today..."

"Okay, honey, what do you want?" she asked me.

"I want the 'Chilean Miner'."

She looked confused and asked, "What's that?"

"It's when you go down on the shaft and come up two months later."

GENIUS, GENIUS, GENIUS!

credit to Rudy Rock, you're in the wrong business dude.

ROBERT "BOB" BOGLE

What---The-Christ--is that? This portrait is on display at Independence Hall.....really.

Imagine if you had someone draw a portrait of yourself and it came out looking like a 7 year old's crayon drawing of a zombie. Would you really let this slide? I would have loved to have been there to see the look on ol' Bogle's face after sitting still for 3 hours and then the "artist" was like, 'Okay, all finished..step around front and have a look!'

The only theory about this I could come up with: a night janitor was vigorously mopping and the butt end of his mop hit the original painting and took off Bogle's face. So the janitor had to recreate it with crayons and no one has noticed until me.

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HEY TRUCK STOP SIGN

It's called "subtlety." Google it.

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BLACKING OUT THE NEWS BECAUSE ONE IS YOUR NATION'S CITIZENS WAS AWARDED THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE --CLASSIC CHINA

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CLINTON, MISSOURI.....YOU GOT YOUR CHOCOLATE PENIS BACK!!!

Now I can't look at the Arby's hat without seeing a chocolate penis. It's like that picture of the old witch/pretty girl face. Except with an old hat/chocolate penis.


Thanks to Mtaylor for sending in this gem.

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BREAKING THE LAW! BREAKING THE LAW!

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OLD PEOPLE THINK YOUNG PEOPLE ARE CLUELESS----SHOCKAHHHH

NEW YORK— (Beth Harpaz - AP Writer) - Second-graders who can't tie shoes or zip jackets. Four-year-olds in Pull-Ups diapers. Five-year-olds in strollers. Teens and preteens befuddled by can openers and ice-cube trays. College kids who've never done laundry, taken a bus alone or addressed an envelope.

Are we raising a generation of nincompoops? And do we have only ourselves to blame?  Susan Maushart, a mother of three, says her teenage daughter "literally does not know how to use a can opener. Most cans come with pull-tops these days. I see her reaching for a can that requires a can opener, and her shoulders slump and she goes for something else."

Teenagers are so accustomed to either throwing their clothes on the floor or hanging them on hooks that Maushart says her "kids actually struggle with the mechanics of a clothes hanger."
 Many kids never learn to do ordinary household tasks. They have no chores. Take-out and drive-through meals have replaced home cooking. And busy families who can afford it often outsource house-cleaning and lawn care.

Mark Bauerlein, author of the best-selling book "The Dumbest Generation," which contends that cyberculture is turning young people into know-nothings, says "the absence of technology" confuses kids faced with simple mechanical tasks.
"It's so all laid out for them," said Maushart, author of the forthcoming book "The Winter of Our Disconnect," about her efforts to wean her family from its dependence on technology. "Having so much comfort and ease is what has led to this situation -- the Velcro sneakers, the Pull-Ups generation. You can pee in your pants and we'll take care of it for you!"


Hey you old assholes guess what:  Young Americans can't address envelopes because of a little something called e-mail.  We're going paperless, get with the times.  Are you upset we can't saddle a horse or don't know the pick-up/drop-off times for the Pony Express too? (google it) 

Oh, and know why can't we do our laundry?  Little invention I like to call "illegal aliens."  Ever heard of a Mexican?  You think it's a coincidence that millions of people are here illegally doing all our dirty work?  No, it's because we don't want to do that shit anymore so we opened up the borders....and we slashed wages.

And Can-openers?  Are you shitting me?  What is this lady feeding her daughter, dog food??    I mean, I can only use a can opener because I gotta get me that tuna protein but I'm pretty sure a can opener is one of the most awkward kitchen utensils ever made.    And hey! here's a crazy idea:  instead of watching and laughing as your daughter tries to feed herself and then blogging about how retarded she is....go fucken help her!  You people wonder why we're all "clueless."

The thing that tickles me the most is this we're being labeled the "dumbest generation" by people who couldn't figure out how to use condoms and ruined sex forever by riddling the population with STDs, and the state officials who thought that segregation was a solid institution that helped protect civil rights.  Plus they nearly ended the world with nuclear weapons.  And invented sitcoms.    You wonder why the youth doesn't want to learn shit from you.

PS - I hate to be the one who has to point it out to you -- but if your kid is struggling with the "mechanics" of a clothes hangar, a solid object with no movable parts,  and he is peeing his pants...then he might be a retard.  So you're calling retarded people nincompoops. 

JAPANANA MAN

....I have so many questions.




Oh, and I'm being "Dole-ah-Maaaahhhh" for Halloween! called it first!

The only thing that could have made this video any better would have been if Dole-ah-Maaahhhh saw the crying girl and did this instead:



The old "banana in the tail pipe" trick...translated into Japanese.

IF I DIE SOON, I WANT MY EULOGY TO BE AUTO-TUNED. BUT IF I DIE A LONG TIME FROM NOW, DON'T AUTO-TUNE IT.

Bedroom Intruder:





How do I never see these videos before the other 25 million people?  Thank god the Gooses Duece showed me this.  It's a song from the same kids who did Double Rainbow. 

This video has given me two revelations;  the first is that these kids are awesome.  Everyone involved, from the kids who have mastered auto-tuner to this Antoine Dodson  who gave them everything they needed on a silver platter.  From the spoken intro, to the hook to the chorus, to the refrain and to the cameo from his sister.   I think that this kid is the next Lil' Wanye, he probably faked this break-in just to become a rap star.  No way someone nails a live on-air interview like this, right?  Fucken awesome.

The second revelation is that this proves how easy rap is.  like this confirms it right? There is no arguing it anymore.  This could be a chart-topping club song and it's just an interview put through the auto-tune machine with a generic beat behind it.  I've always said that rap is just rhyming at a 3rd grade level, with the help of someone else's music/beat and a maybe a thesaurus.  Throw in some glittery, puffy clothes and some bling laid over a nice set of melons and you've made it.  and if you're songs not catching on: shoot somebody.  No press is bad press.

Also, the only way to truly appreciate this shit is to watch the original.  Like BigBadBillyG says, it adds depth.

SHIA IS THE EPPATOME OF A MAROON

Thanks Kikken. 

"FALLING"------IN LOVE

(Reuters) - A Belgian woman went on trial on Friday charged with the murder of a fellow skydiver and love rival who plunged to her death after her parachute was sabotaged.
Els Van Doren, 38, smashed into a back garden from some 4,500 meters (14,764 feet) in November 2006 because both her main and reserve chutes failed to open after she jumped from a plane with defendant, Els Clottemans, 26, their lover, Dutchman Marcel Somers, and another man.
Clottemans, an elementary school teacher, is accused of cutting through key parts of the parachute system the weekend before the jump to remove her rival and have Somers for herself.

So just like my cliched play on words "falling---in love"....this just sucks.  Falling to your death while parachuting is brutal, because you got the guts enough to jump out of an airplane, and then the chute doesn't open.  Just a total bummer.  Probably the same feeling as when you go for the Video Bonus on Cash Cab and the video question is  about some obscure marsupial,  shit luck for a ballsy move.

But what caught my eye about this story is  the obvious "didn't you see that coming?" factor.    This chick, the dead one, was screwing another chick's man...and she let the other chick pack her chute!?!?!?   You loco, ese?  I'd think that the pure weight of her brass balls would have sent her careening towards imalleable earth long before this incident.  Like, what are you thinking???  If I was banging some guy's chick, i wouldn't even turn my back towards him, let alone perform a death defying stunt with him as my safety coordinator.  I would at least, just out of common-courtesy-paranoia, offer to "switch the chutes" at the last second.  The old switcharoo is always a go to.  Like they say "trust everyone, but cut the cards."


P.S. - Being sabotaged is Reason #2 not to go skydiving.   Reason #1 being: it's skydiving.

LEAVE MEL GIBSON ALONE!

I think people forgot how hard life has been for Gibson. And while there's no excusing what he's said, and he's said some crazy shit, I think we could ease up a bit on him. I understand it got uglier than ever with this most recent rant with him panting and spewing guttural-spittling hatreds towards his ex-wife Oksana Grigorieva...but she sandbagged him! (typical Russkie) C'mon, that was supposed to be off the record! I mean I have personally said some things, like all of us have - don't deny it, that if someone had it secretly recorded then I'd have the same chance of being hired by any kind of employer as a pedophile does at a preschool. Now, again what he said was some fucked up shit and I'm not making excuses but I want you all to think of how hard his life has been and maybe we can give Mel a second..er, thir--well I guess fourth chance. But hey, Doesn't everyone deserve a fourth chance?

He grew up as one out of 11 kids, which means he probably didn't get much love and devotion from his parents. Certainly not the amount that everyone deserves. Maybe he felt neglected as a child. Then his acting career didn't exactly start off well.  He gets his first movie role as 'Baseball Player' in I Never Promised You A Rose Garden. He pours his heart and soul into that role as an extra and then his talent went uncredited.  Mel got left on the cutting room floor, Ignored--just as he was growing up.    No wonder he wants to bury his wife in a rose garden...it's because his acting efforts once got buried in A Rose Garden.

Aside from acting, just think about his personal life.  People seem to forget about how Mel's first wife and their child together died in 1979......

To read the rest of this shit, click on the link below...

MATT HARDIE--HOST OF ECLECTIC TASTE--BRINGS THE THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER

What I like about Matt "The Hard Man" Hardie's online radio show, The Eclectic Taste, is that he's not afraid to say what we are all thinking. Like this little gem from last week's show: "sonoffuzzy.com is probably one of the best blog sites I've ever been to." He goes on to say that I'm "cynical without being viscous or mean-spirited," I'm "very on par with the Daily Show and Colbert Report," and that everyone age 16-48 wants my nuts. Also, Matt hit the nail on the head when he said called me "The Zeus of Pop-Culture" (maybe I'm paraphrasing.) This fucken page is STEEPED in POP CULTURE, bout time someone noticed. The thing I love about Matt's show is the honest op/ed on music that he offers, he doesn't have to play the suck-ass Kings of Leon 56 times an hour. Plus his "Beer Enthusiast" bit is always pumping out great suggestions...and he gave me an awesome euphemism for 'a drunk.' "I'm not shitfaced, I'm just really enthusiastic from all that beer I drank." He's switched on when it comes to sounds and he puts forward some songs that really kick ass that I would have never heard of otherwise. Local bands, B-sides and tracks that simply got outshined by singles are his specialty. For example, Boston's own The Dirty Truckers song ;The Boston Wrangler; was featured on his last show and has been stuck in my head all week. Which brings me to tonight, if you are reading this on Tuesday September 21, 2010, and the 11 o'clock hour is approaching, then stop what you're doing right now, unless what your doing is going to http://www.dqrm.com/, if it is then just keep doing what your doing. Go there right now and click on LISTEN LIVE to hear Matt's show. Here's a pictorial: But don't worry if it's after 11 o'clock on Tuesday 9/21, just go HERE scroll down to TUESDAY and look for THE ECLECTIC TASTE and click on Last Week's Show to hear Matt talk about sof.com. If you can't remember all this in the future, just come to this page and I'll have his link on the right hand side so you can listen to Matt's show every week and then when he's crowned Boston's Rock Revivalist you can say, I used to listen to him before he got big. The Eclectic Taste With Matt Hardie The Eclectic Taste- hosted by Matt Hardie, brings you a delicate blend of the finest mixture of alternative, indie and overlooked classics. My show is done in a free form style modeled after John Peel and the rock stations of the 60s radio revolution. This show comes to you in a half hour segment that works to educate the everyday man and stimulate his unknown free thinking desires. I work to bring you music you have been deprived of in the past, and the half hour will leave you feeling spirited and buzzed, lusting for more. Some highlights include TV on the Radio, The Pixies, Arcade Fire, The Horrors, Arctic Monkeys, Queens of the Stone Age, Black Keys, LCD Soundsystem, and The Replacements, among dozens of others, with more being added every show. I try to find new bands that I haven't heard of before all the time, so please send me feedback if you have any to offer. Also featuring social ravings, local show listings and bands on tour, and our favorite segment, the revival of the rock, Where every week I pick an artist from a specific genre and time period that has been neglected on terrestrial radio in the past. Tuesdays 11 - 11:30pm THANKS MATT! keep playing the rock and the beer in stock

I AM OFFICIALLY RETIRING FROM FANTASY BASEBALL

I know alotta things, but I don't what in the hell happened in my Fantasy Baseball League Semifinals matchup. My team, The JohnRocker AIDS Train, was rolling down a one-way track to legendary stardom. All I needed to do was to maintain a 9-5 lead over the weekend and it was mine, I was going to defeat the year's most winningest team. And plus it would have guaranteed a cash payout, and lord knows I need that wampum. But, what I say when it comes to Fantasy Baseball is that weeks--are won and lost on the weekends.....to tell this story; Let us set the mood for tragedy... . . . . . . . . . Yes, turn the lights off. and how about some imagery? . . . . . (^---borrowed/stolen from - arthawk87.deviantart.com) . . okay, nice representation of my current state if mind. Alright, below there are two boxes. The top box is the fantasy line as of the morning of Sunday 9.19 and below that there is the final line, the night of Sunday 9.19. W.T.Fuck? For starters, I worked from 10am-3am so all I could do was try and catch updates on my cellphone and at one point I was given a QS (making it 8-6), which basically meant I could not be beat. But then, like friggin Houdini was keeping score, it disappeared! it was just taken away from me? How, why?! Then, I notice that I only have 5 hitters starting (out of 11), who the shit gave the stand-down order? Because I ordered a goddamn code-red, Santiago! Then he steals a base on the last day to tie up the SB category. That team finished 8th overall in Total SBs, and this is coming from #3. Most importantly, note that the final score is a tie. 6 categories to 6 categories. But, since 4base riddim beat me 3 times during the regular season, the tie-breaker goes to him. Wouldn't a tie-breaker be better suited by the *current* week and not a week from April. The teams are completely changed since April, we're talking playoffs here! and don't think that Yahoo Fantasy Sports hasn't already recieved hate mail, I got time on my hands (obviously). But the sickest thing of all (I'm a total nerd, shut up I'll fight you) is that when you look at that final fantasy line...I lost my lead by .001 percentage of a Batting Average. If I had just another sniff of a hit I would have tied him in the category and skated to a 6-5 win, still a complete farce that it would have been that close but I would take it. .001, that tiniest percentage has consumed me. It is the narrowest margin you could lose the category by.....001.001.001.001 I've filled a legal pad just writing it over and over.001.001.001 I see it everywhere I turn. I stand at the counter at Dunks just mumbling it. .001.001.001.001 Now, this kid has owned the entire league all year. He has destroyed. He was like Drago. And I was like Rocky IV. I trained in the snow, I picked up heavy shit and threw it around my room, i ate a onion raw. I wanted this W. I even posted a league message that I was going to lead the slave rebellion over this team that has owned us all year, I renamed myself The JohnRocker SpartacAIDS Train, I'm not going to say it was my destiny, because that's a load of crap. I don't believe in destiny and fate, I make my own path. But my own path of self-determination was fucked up by someone else's destiny. You with me? And I don't care what that says about destiny & fate versus self-determination, I'M NOT SELLING OUT TO DESTINY! F.O.D.

VINCE WILFORK PULLS HIS GROIN

Still expected to make the start today.

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DOES ANYONE ELSE HATE THIS GUY?

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I know I'm not completely insane, but when this Burger King "It's morning--I'm hungry--I'm going to Bk" commercial comes on I feel the urge to make chimpanzee noises and tackle my TV. It's just like that 1-877-CARS-4-KIDS commercial. As soon as I hear the first few notes I punch my car radio off. like I punch it until it's off--it makes me want to accelerate, turn the wheel and speed into a concrete embankment. I hate to say it, but Quincy's own Dunkin Donuts are the ones who started this whole friggin "annoying,-off-beat-songs-and-strange-looking-people-will-stick-in-your-mind,-thus-the-product-sticks" marketing craze. And maybe it's because my highly-evolved brain isn't susceptible to such low-brow marketing, or maybe it's because my brain is slightly chemically imbalanced --- but I spaz for the clicker and kick my car radio every time one of them comes on. Anyone gonna give me some love on that? And for my money, Geico is the best TV commercial going. Along with the old Snickers commercials: love,love,love that shot of the token-Asian gettin his Snick on to close it out. GENIUS-GENIUS-GENIUS!!! (also, did I just give Snickers "get ya Snick on" idea or what? When Am I gonna get paid for this shit?) Anyone got some solid commercials they want to share&reminisce over?

BREAKING REPORT FROM MEXICO TV'S INES SAINZ: APPARENTLY, PROFESSIONAL SPORTS' LOCKER ROOMS ARE TEEMING WITH TESTOSTERONE!!!

NEW YORK -- The NFL is looking into how a female television reporter was treated at New York Jets practice Saturday. Ines Sainz, a reporter for Mexico's TV Azteca doing a story on quarterback Mark Sanchez, had footballs thrown in her direction by a Jets coach during practice, and players later called out to her in the team's locker room. NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said Sunday that the league and the Jets began looking into the situation when they were made aware of it Saturday night. I consider myself a pretty decent, respectful fellow, but if I saw this woman walking down a crowded city street I'd probably pull my pants down to around my ankles and yell out some pretty obscene sexual suggestions. And I'd definitely throw balls at her. I don't think I sound sexist when I say that this woman is completely exploiting her superior physical--er...abundances by even having pictures like the ones above. How does that further your career as a reporter covering sports? Go and try and find me pictures of Chris Berman wearing a banana hammock...on second thought-- Don't. it'd be like if a Priest used steroids and got wicked jacked, not at all relevant to your specific line of work. I understand why good-looks get on TV, but if you're gonna market yourself as a total fox I have some advice: When you go into a locker room and you shake that T&A, don't be shocked when the team full of guys who have pharmaceutical testosterone and HGH injected in their asses until veins pop out of their teeth all pop boners and try to gang-rape you. Go to red-carpet events and talk about dresses. Also, Ines has a husband and 3 kids.... So this husband of hers must be the most secure man in the world, right? "Honey, you off to work to go watch 50 men with statuesque bodies all shower? Okay, have fun baby!"

BEST BAR JOKE FROM THE WEEKEND

I spend most of the weekend in a bar, on one side or the other, so I may as well use some of the jokes that I inevitably hear. Some jokes are terrible and some are fantastic. And I remember when the Tiger Woods scandal broke it was like the flood gates just opened. I can't even remember an event that brought so many jokes---Conan had an entire nightly segment devoted to it. Anyway, here's teh best joke from this past weekend, whcih happnes to be a Tiger joke: . . . Tiger's recent scandolous behavior can be blamed on advice from his father, Earl, who told him: "Tiger, focus on golf and FUCK everything else!" . . . . And if you didn't think that was funny then maybe this recently leaked picture of Tiger's O-Face will do it for ya:

MAYBE THE WORST SCARED PEDESTRIAN #1 PERFORMANCE BY A MOVIE EXTRA EVER

You hear gunfire so you're going to do some kind of figure-skating pirouette to get out of harm's way? That's why you're an extra. In Speed.

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HEY ASIA: IF THE SHOE FITS, WALK

I love it when Asians get excited/amazed, it is THE best sound in the world, like the double take "Awwee-AAWWEEE" I wish that I could make that into a notifcation sound for my cell phone. Can anyone get on that and send it to me? I just like how Asians sound in general. The other day I walked by a group of elderly Asian women waiting for the 'Walk Signal' to cross the street. They were all talking at the same time. It sounded like a bunch of geese making noise, there's now way they can even understand eachother, right? But about this Japanese Precision Walking, any info on this? Did the Olympics just get that much worse? What could this possibly be? I'm guessing it's because Asians have come to terms with the fact that they suck at driving: and so they are going to MASTER walking. Because this is what that video is, it's walking at its finest. It reminds me of like how a blind guy can hear really good, the Asians are so bad at driving that they are genetically predisposed to be able to walk THIS good.

GOOFUS AND GALLANT OF PARENTING SKILLS

Sometimes kids say the darndest things. And it takes quality parenting to make sure they know what is right, and what is wrong. Let's take a look: My heart melted a little bit after seeing this girl say "but if he comes in here he's gonna kick my ass." and the look she gives her mom like, Are you not getting my logic right now? That was the cutest, "Are you fucken retarded?" look I've ever seen. Now let's see what Goofus would do.... Whoa-My-Fuck! She came out to the opening bell like vintage Mike Tyson. Out of the corner with a fuckin BOMB! Did I tell you or did I tell you about this trash talk you hear on XBox Live? you hear shit on Xbox that would make Charles Manson feel awkward. She kind stumbled a little bit, which heavyweights always do when the big blows don't knock 'em down, but then she comes back with some scary shit. Let's break this down XBOX Live Trashtalk 101 style: Open strong: "you know what nigger-boy, we just won! AHAHAHA" If opponent tries to scare you with real-life threats, run a quick fact check: "you're gonna tell my Mom? Yeah, what's my Mom's name?" ...and rebound with 'I'm-from-the-street' attitude: "You don't know me, My mom, my dad, you don't know my whole fucken entire day!" Then say something that doesn't quite make sense, to assure you're opponent that you're mentally unbalanced: "Where were you born from?! I'm gonna rip your head!!!" This little girl could make a grown man cry. Plus I love how her handler at the 1:43 mark tries to take this rabid girl for a walk, this bitch probably sleeps in a cage. And this video couldn't end more perfectly, this family's trashy walmart internet connection gives out and they get the boot. circle of life shit right there. People don't understand how fun it is to encounter this shit online, like I've been late for work because I couldn't break myself away from a situation like this one. The other day a kid that was maybe 8 was giving me prices on his older sister and his mother. Like he was pimpin them out...completely unprovoked. Weird, wild stuff. credit to Kevin Plowski for bringing me something worth seeing&sharing

REAL MATURE FIELD MUSEUM

Making fun of T-Rex arms? Grow up.

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33 CHILEAN MINERS ARE TRAPPED IN THAT MINE UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!??

Well I haven't been paying really close attention to this whole drama because, let's be honest, it's in Chile, but I did hear that these guys had survived. But now I just found out they are stuck down there for 4 months!? Ummmmm, so I'm thinking sitcom. Anybody? It's topical, a bit dirty, with dark humor. A bunch of amigos stuck in a cramped living space. It'd be like Friends but funny. But how about that shit. My Spanish is a little rusty but I think that this note reads, "Stop celebrating and get us out of this fucking hole you asshole...33" I hope these guys do get out of this OK, because they are going to get a HUGE settlement from the Mining company, which they will subsequently spend on lottery tickets. And I love the messages they sent to their families, that was touching. I bet every guy when asked, "Any words for your wives?" thought the same thing: "Yeah, don't fuck anybody."

DRUNKFACED BRIT GETS THE LIQUID BOOT

And speaking of getting drunk in public: did anyone hear how some chick is banned from buying or publicly consuming ANY and ALL alcoholic beverages in all of England and Wales? It's called a Drinking Banning Order and I'm pretty sure it's the first one ever. Do you know how drunk you have to be to get banned from drinking in England? Their entire culture revolves around 'the pub' and getting pissed, like not casual drinking like our fine gentlemen over at Ketel One but getting absolutely Polluted, with a capital SHITFACED. What has English culture become? (((Jane Austin must be rolling over in her stuffy grave)))I've been trying to brainstorm what could be wrong with her...she must be hideous, right? . . . . . . . . . . Ok, wrong. ... Then she is either the biggest tease of all time (because no one is gonna ban the "party favor" if you know what I'm saying) or... Actually I have no idea. I'm stumped. I'm guessing that if you unraveled this case then you'd find some kind of threaded socio-political-thriller-like plot. Like if Girl With The Dragon Tattoo meets Girl Who Played With Fire and then got mixed with The Matrix. That's how confusing this story must be, the only way she got banned is if it endangers mankind on a national or even global level. Think of how many people we all know individually that should have been banned from drinking by now. Drug testing, a "suggested" stint in AA, that's the per usual for even the biggest drunken messes. But a National Ban? Maybe she walked out on a tab at Buckingham Palace. I can't wait to read more about this one. Read the actual story here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2934644/Very-barred-girl-banned-nationwide.html Oh and what's the over/under on how many dates this girl is gonna get asked out on once she can start drinking again? She's the ideal date; "Hey pretty lady how about we drink vodka straight from the bottle, chase it down with some shame and then get randy. DO I MAKE YOU HORNY BABY!? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE BLACKED OUT!"

LOOK! IT'S A BIRD--- IT'S A PLANE!---- IT'S DRUNKFACED MAN!!!

Thursday Shot for the weekend is back! This one is a doozy, I've run into it several times, or more accurately it ran me into/over me several times. I can drink the drink but this one is only for the heavy hitters. I call it the "Speedbump," shot because after just a few you will be doing a certain Yoga position I call "Downward Drunkfaced Dog" in the middle of the street. ya know, like where a speedbump would be...haha. So the two parts are these: -Jaegermeister (how ever its spelled) -root beer I'm not even gonna give "directions" on how to mix these ingredients, it's too savage to be tamed. This shot will have you face planted by 1 a.m. I usually say enjoy, for this I say good luck!

I LIKE MY BEER COLD...MY TV LOUD...AND MY HOMOSEXUALS FLAMING!

"..........................(pssst---gay pride-sshhh)................" WTF is that gay pride flag doing buried in those bushes? "Yeah, I finally came out of the closet but I'm gonna hang in these bushes for a little while longer." What a fag.

WOULD YOU HAVE MADE THIS TRADE?

I was in Chicago and saw this exchange go down. The guy with the plastic bags slung over his shoulder walks in front of this Sheriff on his George Jetson machine and just makes him a strong, firm offer: "Bags for the motorcycle, man. Bags for the motorcycle." And there wasn't an ounce of sarcasm in his voice, pure business. I saw his eyes, this man was serious. The Sheriff just laughs and turns down his offer. Then this dude just kept walking, that's when I took this picture. Whole exchange was maybe 15 seconds long. Here's the thing: I don't know if I could have just turned down that offer so easily. Whats in the bags!? It's haunting me now, it's like the mystery door on a gameshow. I always want the mystery door! Sometimes it's a lump a shit but sometimes it's a Kia. This guy made it sound like it was a fair-and-square deal. I think they call that business acumen. Plus, I don't think you should write off homeless guys this quickly...and I don't mean to sound like I'm judgemental but that guy is totally homeless. Spotting a homeless guy is like the old saying about hard-core pornography, "It's hard to define but I know it when I see it." He's got that 'dress shirt w/ slacks' kind of outfit that homeless guys always rock, like they definitly do not have anything important to do, but if something comes up they're ready to TCB. Who knows what this guy has in the bags. He could have worked for NASA back in the day and there's the flux capacitor inside the bag, and it was his lengthy and tireless research in creating it that drove him past the brink of sanity. Or it could be three dead pigeons. But I would have to know! I mean look at that machine the Sheriff is riding, piece of shit probably tops out at 20 MPH. Remember the homeless guy Bart Simpson ran into? He was the creator of Itchy & Scratchy and Bart wrote him off at first. so I'm just saying: Think about it.

CALIFORNIA GURLZ IS EPIC

Hold on, is this the best song ever? Okay, not best song ever -- but best single line in a song ever is "So hot will melt your Popsicle" If you see me when I'm jamming to this song and Katy Perry sings "So hot will melt your Popsicle" I fucken LOSE it. It's intense. If you pulled up next to me when I'm in my car and the windows are rolled up, right when that line happens I go bananas. I look like I'm special needs, insane, and gay all at once. Only downside is the actual music video. Katy Perry just doesn't do it for me. She's wicked hot, but the way she just kind of slumps around is boring. It'd probably be like fucking a hole in the mattress. She just looks bored trying to be sexy. Luckily there is always that token smoken hot back-up dancer that I freeze-frame spank it to. That back-up chick is always SO hot and gets so little face time. Maxim or someone should make a Top 100 list of Hottest Token-Smoken Hot Backup Dancers of All-Time. And believe me, EVERY GUY who has seen a fair share of music vids knows what I'm talking about,. P.S. this video shows Snoop Dogg as like a Candy Land faggish mayor. And it made me think about G's like Snoop, Dre, Iced Cube who take soft movie rolls like in Lottery Ticket. Didn't these guys kill people as kids? It's wild. Just weird an wild stuff. Now look at them. "Bikinis, zucchinis and martinis" ? For rizzle, Dogg? Hey, whatever though. I mean from Dogg's lips to my ears, I'm down homey. I love the pimp candy-cane, might even use one even though I don't need it. Just looks tight.

PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES ARE A STEP DOWN FROM CIRCUS PERFORMING MONKEYS---GET READY FOR A RANT!!!

MINNEAPOLIS (AP)—Ron Gardenhire heard the boos from Twins fans Sunday afternoon. And the Minnesota manager acknowledged he was kind of booing himself at the same time. Even though Kevin Slowey just thrown seven innings of no-hit baseball against Oakland, Gardenhire went to his bullpen to finish the game. The bid for a combined no-hitter didn’t last long, either, when Jon Rauch gave up a double to the second batter he faced in what would end being a 4-2 Twins victory. “I would boo me too,” Gardenhire said. “I took a pitcher out with a no-hitter going. But I would do it 1,000 times the same way.” The reason was simple: Elbow tendinitis caused Slowey to miss his last start. Combine that with 106 pitches to get through seven innings and there was little chance of him throwing two more innings—even if he continued to hold the Athletics without a hit. Take him out?!? Um hello, are you mental? That's the same shit Peyton Manning and the jackwagon Colts did last season. How are you going to fucking throw away an entire season of perfection in favor of a Super Bowl bid (which they lost). It's short-term heroics that wins the fans' hearts. That's why the 2007 Patriots are my all-time favorite team, even though I hate pro-sports as I view it more or less a public display of rape; business raping sport. But the Pats fucken went for it man, and what did the Colts do? Threw it away. Just like the Twins did by taking Slowey out. Now I'm only saying this one time: The man-behind-the-curtain who is pulling all the strings knows that tried and true fans do not go to the game to see an athlete give up; they know we want to see fierce competition. I want Kevin SLowey to throw pitches until his arm falls off. Then I want him to use his other arm. You're gonna fag-out on a no-hit bid at 106 pitches? Because of "elbow tendinitis?" I'm pretty sure that term is medically related to having a vagina so you either sac up or pack up Slowey. I threw the football 200 times at a family BBQ and could barely get out of bed this morning, Why? Because I WANTED "IT." Same with Manning last year. Who do you think people respect more? Pats in '07 or Colts in '09? Because I got to watch a team fight and scrap all the way to a perfect season, yeah sure they lost the Super Bowl, but guess what, nobody even remembers. That Super Bowl became a friggen punchline. Ya know what people do remember? THE PERFECT SEASON. Fans don't get herded into stadiums like cattle on $400 tickets, order $10 beers, $7 hot dogs and and sit down to shit it all out on toilets that look like they were imported from a warzone to watch a team pull out of a fucking attempt at perfection. Get Real, we're suckers not chumps. The Big Win only pays one person: The Man Behind The Curtain. He gets hundreds-of-millions in bonuses, even the cheerleaders get paid. Guess who gets a stick in their ass? US. WE THE FANS. If I had my way I wouldn't even let UFC fighters survive a loss. I'd make them fight until the death. You want to wear TapOut gear and gets queer tattoos? Then you gotta die for me to tolerate you. Otherwise, stop acting like a tough shit. I'm just so done with professional sports. If it wasn't for my Fantasy habit they may as well not exist. I think it's because I grew up under my Father's attitude, very similar to Sonny from a Bronx Tale: "See if you can't pay the rent, go ask Mickey Mantle and see what he tells you." Because none of them care about us. I mean at least in the pre-1990s they used to care. Hockey players all had full-time ball-breaking jobs and ugly wives so when they go onto the ice they wanted Blood and Death. And it was next to free for us fans. Nowadays you gotta lay down 75% of your weeks pay to watch some prima donna fag-out because his vagina hurts. I got two protruding discs, a torn labrum in my strong shoulder and a knee strain. Not one Boston pro-athlete is checking on my status, so what the fuck do I care about any of them? The whole team plane could go down and all it would it was take up a chunk of my morning paper's front page. The contrast in old-time and modern spots is a glaring one. Old Time HOckey defeated Communism in 1980, do you even comprehend how significant that is? And how it will never happen again. I mean, look at sports nowadays: like a couple of school girls. Professional Athletes used to be Gods among mere men: Now they're just a bunch of disrespectful, weak-willed, entitled dicklickers. Fucke em all.