FAKE SIX-PACK IMPLANTS? WHERE DO I SIGN?

So you're telling me that all this time I spend in the gym, like 25 minutes every other couple of days, and I could just have a six-pack medically implanted into my stomach?  Umm, yes please.  And I'll take the brown nipple option as well.  Save the mohawk though because errbody already knows umma rebel.

"(mirror.co.uk) -- Darryn Lyons went topless in the Celebrity Big Brother house today - and opened up to Paddy Doherty about the cosmetic surgery which gave him a toned tummy.

Mr Paparazzi revealed his turtle style abs in the house, showing it is not just the girls in the house who have had a little extra help with their appearance.

The 46-year-old had a 'contouring' procedure to create a washboard stomach."

Anyone else thinks this is great news? FUCK the gym, shit sucks.  Only question is can I get some pecs implanted as well?  Throw some shoulders in there and i'll be looking like Arnold.  Instead of going to the gym I'll just stay in my room, oil myself up and throw knives at the wall saying "STICK AROUND."




I am really considering this surgery (that is, until I hear the price) because I don't have a six pack and I fucking murder the gym.  When I walk out of the gym it won't make eye contact with me.  It flinches when I raise my hand.  Even other people at the gym feel traumatized by what they see.  I usually have to lay low for a few just in case my gym presses rape charges against me.  Do you understand? Let me put it this way: I am to my gym what Joe Jackson is to Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael.  And Ben.

Oh, and when i say "fucking murder the gym" i mean listen to techno and jump rope then go hover around real heavy weights so people walking by think I'm using them.   I even found that the best way to up my max bench is to just lie about what my max bench is. It's 375 lbs, by the way. (see?)

I kind of want to make sure I find the best for this operation though, because all jokes aside the guy Lyons in the picture up top looks like the hunchback from the movie 300.  Like he looks jacked but he's not strut-around-Nantasket-beach jacked.  He might pass for muscle at Wollaston Beach but he ain't primetime.