FLASH MOBS...SO HOT RIGHT NOW

That was a pretty slick surprise. All the way down to how they had the guy dress up like a janitor...but I hope that floor wasn't actually wet because someone may have slipped on it after he took the sign.

This video has over 20 million hits right now, it's not as good as the dancing wedding line, but it's pretty damn good. Now CUE the endless imitators its going to spawn. Everyone is going to try and top it. And as others 'try' I will 'do.' Check this out: I am going to organize a Flash Orgy. Imagine those news reports?

Picture it: it'd be basically the same scene as in the video above, in a crowded mall food court. All of a sudden a woman stands up and screams "OH YEAH! SEX!" and starts taking her clothes off. So everyone looks at her and is like WTF? Then a guy way up in the rafters screams "SEX? OHHH YEEEAAAH!" and hits play on a giant boombox he's holding Now everyone is looking up at him and notices he's harnessed--naked--to a zipline. So then he ziplines down over the crowd and lands in the woman..then a janitor rips off his coveralls, throws a fistful of glitter in the air and screams "FLASH ORGY!" Then it would just-get-WILD. Techno is shaking the room, Naked people would start popping up outta trash cans and closets and start doing it on all the tables. I'd pay a guy to turn the light switches on and off really fast so the room's light strobed.  Imagine how many YouTube hits that'd get?

NOVEMBER 10 IS MIKE MITCHELL DAY

Mike Mitchell Day in Quincy, MA from WGO Show on Vimeo.

Awesome.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. And it's right before my birthday, double celebration next year. But somebody better check on Michael Cassady there because I think he just got on the G-Town bus. Considering he calls it Quin-cee, I'd imagine he'd have a bit of trouble out there.

I've heard about Mike's show, plus he is in a group called the Birthday Boys they just put out a funny video about Pool Jumpers.  It is a wicked funny spoof on Dog Town and teh Z Boys.... "I must have got kicked out of 30,40 pools a summer---and those were just my family and friends."  If you've seen any of those documentaries about people who started popular trends, anything from graffiti to skating in pools to Canadian curling, the Birthday Boys take that tone and play it perfectly.  Check it out.

Here is Mike MItchell's talk show webpage:
What's Going On with Quincy's own Mike Mitchell

THE W-T-F-LINK OF THE DAY

So do I masturbate or not?

I don't know if you wanna see more pictures like this, but you should click that link because they're friggin hilarious.  It's all "creative" ideas of pregnancy pictures.    I'm trying to come up with my own ideas now, but it'd be pretty tough to top these folks.  I'm thinking the only way I could be more outrageous was if my picture had TWO pregnant women, showed penetration, one prego was holding a bazooka and I was performing some kind of feat of strength like holding a dumbbell overhead and fighting off a wild animal at the same time.  It's gonna be tough but the showman inside of me is telling me I gotta give it a try...


Thanks to Kikken for helping a brother out and sharing this.

BRETT FAVRE'S STREAK ENDS

I love it.  It's over.  Now we can focus on the real news...like North Korea trying to book Eric Clapton for a concert, "Raaayrahh....got Kim-Jong on my knees, Rayrah."

This was definitely way more complicated and drawn out than it had to be.  And no not even just his retirement in general (knock on wood), I mean just his status for this past week.  The guy's shoulder is decimated.  Was it just that nobody had the balls to drop reality on him?  Because I could have done it.  Hey Brett, your shoulder is fucked.  You probably couldn't even pick up your dick to sext it to anyone.  I'd say chucking the pigskin 50 yards is out of the question. 

But I bet it wasn't that no one would tell him, I bet it's just that trying to tell him he can't play is like trying to hammer nails into concrete.  It's probably a running joke at his doctor's office.  All the nurses are huddled outside the door laughing as the Doctor explains, "In my medical opinion, it would be impossible for you to play the quarterback position at a competitive level given that your throwing arm is hanging onto your body by a thread."  Brett is like, "Well, don't sugar-coat it man. What odds ya givin' me, like 50-50?" 

When Brett Favre dies, probably a 1000 years from now, I hope his tombstone reads: 

Here Lies The Body Of

Brett Favre

b. 10/10/1969  -  d.12/14/3010

....he'll be a game time decision on Sunday.

THE GREATEST STORY NEVER TOLD...UNTIL NOW

  CLEVELAND - A Cleveland bartender whose more than $3,600 in accumulated tips blew away says he's lucky the money was found by two apparently honest men.

Michael May said he was almost in tears last weekend after he realized he'd driven off with a pouch containing the cash sitting on the roof of his car.


Cleveland downtown safety monitor David Hamilton found the bag lying in the street and kept it away from a homeless person who tried to take it away.

Hamilton and his team leader at the nonprofit Downtown Cleveland Alliance turned the money over to police, who traced it to May through bank receipts and checkbooks in the pouch.
May plans to give a reward to Hamilton and the team leader. Police will honor Hamilton at a ceremony next week.


This is a nice story, you know I like 'people-helping-people' and it's good to see a bartender come out on top.  But one thing about this story catches my eye....let's rewind a bit:
"Cleveland downtown safety monitor David Hamilton found the bag lying in the street and kept it away from a homeless person who tried to take it away... " 

OK. Hold on, what was that last part again?
"...David Hamilton found the bag lying in the street and kept it away from a homeless person who tried to take it away... "

That very last part again, just one more time but in slow motion please...
"keeeptt iiitt aawwaaayy ffrrrooomm aa hhooommmlleessss pppeerrrsssooonnn..."
 
Whoa.

Whoever wrote this up is lazy as hell, because within this news blurb there is probably an entire book to be told.  You could probably pitch this to a movie studio as a summer blockbuster,  maybe even craft an epic out of it.

The man fought off a homeless guy for 3,600 dollars!!  It's like a modern-day 'The Old Man And The Sea'--it's an unstoppable force meeting an insoberable object.  This guy Dave must be pure balls, could you ever imagine going toe-to-toe with a homeless guy for found cash?  $3,600 is enough for that bum to drink for like a week.   Have you ever even seen a bum fight? Their tenacity is unmatched.  And plus, homeless guys love found-cash like dragons love princesses.  It would take Super fucken Mario to get that cash away from that bum,  matter of fact I think Dave Hamilton should just go ahead and legally change his name to 'Mr. Super Mario.' or how about  'Mr. Pure Fucken-Balls.' a hyphen works there right?

Oh,, and just to show you how serious I am about this, I've already assembled the cast for the movie:

For the actor to play David Hamilton, a.k.a. Mr. Fucken-Balls, I'm gonna suggest Andrew Lincoln from the new AMC show 'The Walking Dead,'

 because homeless people and zombies are pretty interchangable,  meaning he wouldn't have to do too much character studying.  That's gonna help if we're gonna hit our release date of Summer 2011.

For the homeless guy I'm thinking Nick Nolte;

I'm pretty sure his schedule is clear, and it would reduce costs on makeup and wardrobe.

For the hot chick that Lincoln will fall in love with (I'm just following the movie formula here, people) let's contact the background dancer from Pitbull's "I know you want me" video.  Sagia Castañeda:

just because she is sooo crazy hot.  She is so hot that I spent $1000 on the Spanish Rosetta Stone just in case I ever meet her.  Oh, but she's not as hot as my girlfriend tho...(lo siento Miss Castaneda, Ella lee mi blog...llamame coña)

We could get Rufus the Stunt Bum involved

He'd be be our on-set coordinator, make sure everything is portrayed accurately. And, naturally, he'd do bum stunts.

Lastly we just need to score a big name Director to garner attention...like a Peter Jackson.  Or Clint Eastwood who could make this so gritty you'd be spittin' it out as you left the theater.   Maybe we could go real stylistic and get Q.T.?  Doesn't matter much because there won't be much to direct, this is the kind of story that will just tell itself; this is the kind of story that has been waiting to tell itself.  There's only one director I want to stay away from and that is Ron Howard; I don't want this project to turn into a dramatic tear-jerker.  There's no crying in bum fights.

ANGRY BIRDS IS HOLDING ME HOSTAGE

So I'm pretty sure everyone has probably heard of this game by now because I'm always months behind the 'What's Hot' curve.  But just a few days ago some friends told me to download an app game "Angry Birds"  because it's on the Android market now.  So, per usual, I put off doing it for a few days and then downloaded.  Not a word of a lie, I started playing it and then I woke up 14 hours later with dirty underwear.  I just went into a gamer-trance.  The game is pure addiction.   It's the kind of game that makes you see how  those Asian guys die during  72-hour gaming sessions because they didn't stop playing to go the bathroom or eat.  I sympathize with those guys; matter of fact I've just started playing right while sitting on the toilet.  Problem solved.  Wanna borrow my phone now?

I highly recommend downloading it, as long as you don't have anything important to do in the next week, or even better if you are about to serve a life sentence.  And  actually, though I can't confirm it,  I heard a rumor that Angry Birds is why Charles Manson snuck a cell phone into prison. If playing Angry Birds instead of sleeping is crazy, then you can call me Charles Manson.

HOW HIGH?

I love it. Great pun, well done. At first I was pissed because I thought for sure that my "MORE RIPPED THAN OCTOMOM'S PUSSY" T-shirt idea was better, but then again a giraffe's pussy is pretty, pretty, pretty high. Plus my shirt would be much more graphic.  Like so graphic it would have put Ed Hardy to shame.  Wait-wait--more like-wait, More like Ed Hard-ly...myeahhh!! im such a loser.

Thanks to Kevin Poolausky (sp.?) for the pic

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SON OF FUZZY GETS PUBLISHED

Look, I know the blog has been slacking lately but that's because my home computer crashed and I have about as much of a clue as that fugly monkey up there as to how to fix it. Which is why I've been Android blogging from my intelligent cellular telephone.  And since bloggers don't make a million bucks (in fact, I don't even get paid for this.  can you believe that?  Well, Bah-leee-dat!) I have to wait a bit to buy a new computer-thingy.  But in the stead of blog posts, sonoffuzzy.blogspot.com has gone to print.  Dirty Water News contacted me (read: I harrassed them until they caved) to write an article for their 'Trends' section.   This article is from a few weeks back, like 1 month and a half worth of weeks, and so here's the link to the site and the article:

  http://dirtywaternews.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=723:heres-to-bostons-plain-clothed-supermen-and-superladies&catid=68:trends&Itemid=128


People Helping People Is Making A Comeback!


Trends . You know , I nearly chose to write about the trend of dressing up as Snooki and The Situation for Halloween this year. I was gonna write about each costume I saw and detail whose was best and why. But I don’t really have the inclination, or the word count for that matter, so I decided to write about a more subtle costume people have been wearing lately: The Plain Clothed Superman.


I don’t know if it’s just me, but I have been seeing a lot more of ‘people-helping-people’ going on. Just the other day at Downtown Crossing I was wowed with kindness. I heard my incoming train announced over the intercom and quickly slipped two crisp one-dollar bills into the Charlie Card machine. It gave me a ticket and I hustled to the turnstile and slipped the ticket in. “EH-EH!” I tried again, “EH-EH!” I look at the ticket and I see printed, “Remaining Value: $2.” I look at the turnstiles’ display screen “Insufficient funds.”


Now, just as I’m about to locate the nearest authority and politely inquire “What the problem is?” (read:. lose my sanity and end up on the 7 o’clock news) a man who rushed through the adjacent turnstile presumably to catch that same incoming train observed my predicament. This bearded Jesus walks back and waves his hand in front of the exit sensor. The doors zoom open and I step through. All I can do is look at the Plain Clothed Superman and say, “That. Was. Awesome.” With no time for thanks he turned and hurried down the stairs. It was the most badass act of kindness I’ve seen in a hot minute.


I remember when this kind of kindness was everywhere. Right after September 11, 2001. Americans just wanted to help any other who needed it. Drivers offered the right away. Young kids held the door for the elderly. While Frank Sinatra sang “Stormy Weather” the flies and spiders got along together. When grifters looked at me and desperately asked, “Spare Change?” I stopped giving my usual response of, “No thanks, I have plenty!” and just silently walked by them instead.


If it takes more than one act of kindness to sell you then dig this: I was walking down the street looking like a tourist and taking random street shots with my new DSLR and saw a photo opportunity across a busy street. I stopped, kneeled, framed, and waited for the traffic to slow so I could get a clean shot. Then I see a clear shot through my view-finder and take it. When I lower my camera and stand up I notice a large MBTA bus to my leftfront side. The driver is smiling and looking at me. She saw me lining up my shot and stopped 40 yards behind the red light just to let me take it. That sort of caring awareness should be awarded and so I figured I’d give a quick shout-out to these two awesome Bostonians.


So how about you support this trend, especially if you were one of the million to dress up as Snooki or The Situation. Hold a door, give up your seat on the train, offer the right away, help someone get on the T for free. Hey, maybe even spare some change. DWN


BOOM! That just happened!!!

And, actually, it's not made up.  And judging from the massive amounts of feedback I've got I'd say it's safe to say.....ok I made that part up, I've gotten no feedback.  But in a related incident, I recently was able to 'Pay it Forward' from the Bearded Jesus who helped me get onto the T.  I walked into South Station and see two girls were already through and a third girl was having trouble with her Charlie Card.  So after I get through the turnstyle I walked over, wiiicked smooth, and waved my hand in front of the sensor.  And the girl stepped through and they were all THANKS YAY, and I stood there for a half second and just as I'm about to drop my signiture opening line of "Laaddiiiieeeesss..." I thought, WWBJD?!, So as I'm about to speak I break into a hobbled sprint--like I ran walked away.   I completely blew my cool and I might have drooled a little bit because my mouth was open.  I could hear them in the background laughing at what a geek I was.   I just wanted to be like the guy who helped me; casually selfless.  Instead, I looked socially awkward and mildly impaired.