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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

RICKY MARTIN IS GAY! STILL.

A week and a half ago I saw a little blue link on a news website and it said that Ricky Martin had come out of the closet. I actually thought it was one of those "This Day In History" blurbs but then someone today was talking about it like it was a new development. Really? Did no one else know that he was gay? Because I knew. I'm talking I knew back in '99, at the latest, when he was shaking his bon-bon on my gay-dar. Now I'm kicking myself that I didn't call TMZ with that information, could have got paid! Ricky's music screamed gay. What first tipped me off was when I listened to his song "She Bangs" which is an attempt at sexual innuendo. Now, I don't know if you've ever been around a Latino guy but they have much more colorful language to describe sex. "She bangs" is exactly what a guy who has never had sex with a female would say goes down in heterosexual intercourse. He sounds like a virgin middle schooler talking about females. "Oh yeah, first you kiss, yeah then you touch her boob until you get a boner, then you get her clothes off and then...she--bangs?" But what should have been the most obvious giveaway was Ricky's pensions for ass-to-front beach yoga with his muchacho,

2 comments:

  1. I had the same exact reaction.... Yea of course he's gay. What will be the next revelation?

    "This just in, Ricky Martins music sucks."

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  2. That picture made me laugh out loud! o m g! worse than lady gaga!

    ReplyDelete