ANDOVER HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL TAKES ON ALL COMERS

"(LarryBrownSports.com ) -- At least five members of the Andover High (Mass.) basketball team have been suspended, and two have been expelled for their roles in an alleged hazing incident that took place over the summer.


 Several players from the team attended a basketball camp on the Stonehill College campus in Easton, Ma. early July. At the camp, some upperclassmen allegedly forced younger players to participate in a hazing game where they were forced to eat semen-covered cookies. 


They called the game “wet biscuit,” but it’s also known as “ookie cookie.” The two ringleaders in the hazing were expelled from school. The other participants were suspended and can no longer play sports the rest of the school year. But the punishment doesn’t end there. 


 Andover Police are helping Easton Police investigate the alleged incident. Those convicted of hazing face up to a year in jail and a $3,000 fine. Anyone who witnesses hazing but does not report it faces a $1,000 fine if convicted under state law."

I played plenty of sports and I never once remember any form of hazing this extreme.  I know I read about it enough but I'm just asking what the hell makes you want to feed another dude your semen?  It's not even funny.  We used to trick each other into drinking one another's urine.  Now THAT'S funny.  Other than that the most extreme hazing I was involved with was this one time we gave a kid a Ben Franklin hair cut but even then I felt pretty bad after because he had had a nice flow going.  I don't ever remember anyone even suggesting we force some little kid to eat cum-covered cookies, although one time the cream sauce at a pasta party was a bit too creamy.

So now a few of these kids' futures are fucked.  In this day-and-age of anti-bullying this is permanent record, jail time, felony shit.  Instead of going to college on a sports scholarship they'll probably end up with some shitty job.  And I do mean shitty.  Because the shittiest, most demanding job I've ever had was as a cook and chances are you're not gonna get a job cooking if you have a criminal history that involves whipping up a batch of semen-glazed cookies and feeding them to people. These kids will be working Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs-shitty jobs.

However, I don't think this incident should come as a surprise to anyone who knows a little bit about Andover High School, those Golden Warriors love human ejaculate.  It's obvious. Take, for example, their last car wash fundraiser:

Or the student body's favorite band:

Or the school store's top selling item:

The evidence was right there in your eye the whole ti-- OOPS! Hold on, i'll go get you a towel.

On a final note, you kind of have to give these kids credit.  I've heard of all sorts of ways to get semen to taste better--although it's usually for the ladies' sake.  Pineapple juice, papaya, cinnamon, cardamom, kiwi, watermelon, celery...the list just goes on. But these kids took the brazen route of simply putting the semen right on a cookie.  Genius. That's keeping it simple right there.