The other day I saw a helicopter land in the UMASS Boston parking lot. First off, what the fuck kind of meeting at UMB could merit having someone choppered in? But I'm not gonna give anyone shit for that, like when Jane Swift got busted for using one, or when Ted Kennedy used it back in '05 to beat the traffic down to the Cape. What's the worst that could happen? Not like he was driving it. For all the shit that the Kennedy's get away with, I'm not gonna start complainging about a chopper ride. But everyone bitched at them for it.
Because it's easy to call BS from a civilian's position. Because no one ever asks us “Sir, do you want to take the car or the helicopter?” :
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Hands down I would pick the helicopter and if anyone says they'd do different they're lying. Perform this test at home, ask someone, “Do you want to take the Car or the Helicopter?” and 8 out of 6 times it will go like this, “…the car or the helic--” “GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!” It’s a knee-jerk reaction, humans are predisposed to loving helicopters.
I don’t care if I’m just going up to the corner store, if I got one then I’m taking the whirly bird. I just wish that pols could be more HONEST. Like when Swift and Kennedy got drilled they’re like "Oh, I’m truly sorry. It was irresponsible and wasteful in these hard times … blah blah blah." Dude, If I ever get pegged in a news conference and some asshole-reporter is like “Sir! Why’d you take the helicopter, sir?” “Ummmm, let’s see, because---oh yeah, I HAVE a fucking HELICOPTER?”
You know what politican is gonna break this pussy-footing trend? Any guesses....
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BAM!
Alvin M. Greene. Alvin Motherfuckin Greene baby! Al will be like "What do you mean why'd I take the hellicopter? Fucken serious? C'mon man, let's go, we're going for a ride. I'll show you those dirty pictures too." Alvin is the new mold of politician, the avant-garde, the humanitarian, the anti-intellectual, the brute.
Someday I'll probably own a helicopter. And I'm am going to act out the Mr. Deeds scene every single time I fly. It would be wicked funny at first, but I’d keep doing it-and doing it--and doing it. It’d get pretty annoying.
That's right Anderson!
Accordingly I went to one who had the reputation of wisdom, and observed to him -- his name I need not mention; he was a politician whom I selected for examination -- and the result was as follows: When I began to talk with him, I could not help thinking that he was not really wise, although he was thought wise by many, and wiser still by himself; and I went and tried to explain to him that he thought himself wise, but was not really wise; and the consequence was that he hated me, and his enmity was shared by several who were present and heard me. So I left him, saying to myself, as I went away: Well, although I do not suppose that either of us knows anything really beautiful and good, I am better off than he is -- for he knows nothing, and thinks that he knows. I neither know nor think that I know. In this latter particular, then, I seem to have slightly the advantage of him.
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