I completely forgot about the 4th of July hot dog eating contest. I love watching it because it is simply America at it's excessively bloated worst. And I'm not knocking my country for it, I'm just cynical. But it's so insane how other countries are starving and America has competetive eaters who try and stuff as much food into their bodies as humanly possible. I wonder if there are TVs in Africa where emaciated people watch this and cry. Kind of like if Gallagher had tried to take his comedy act on an African Tour. He'd wheel out a shopping cart full of fruits and vegetables in front of an audience and the people's eyes would light up and they'd be looking at Gallagher ready to worship him as a God. Then G-Man would start smashing fruit with his oversized mallet.
Gallagher: Y'all ready to smash some fruit?!
Ethiopians: What did he say? We can eat?
Gallagher: Y'all bring yer ponchos!
Ethiopians: What's the hammer for?
BLAM!
Ethipoians: NOOOO! Why does the God punish us?
It would be mayhem.
But this year I really missed out with the 4th of July contest, because apparently some shit went down:
Brooklyn, New York (CNN) -- With only a sandwich and a glass of milk to fill his legendary stomach after a night in jail, one-time hot dog champ Takeru Kobayashi walked out of court Monday declaring, "I'm hungry!"
Kobayashi was released on his own recognizance a day after he rushed the stage at the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, a competition that he had been barred from this year because of a contract dispute with organizer Major League Eating.
Meeting with reporters after his hearing, he said, "I went as a spectator to cheer on my friends, and everyone was yelling 'let him eat,' so I was hoping they would let me eat and prove I am still the champ."
After rushing the stage Sunday in a T-shirt that read "Free Kobi," Kobayashi was surrounded by police and taken away charged with resisting arrest, trespassing and obstruction of governmental affairs.
Kobayashi says the eating contest had placed more restrictions on him this year, and he was protesting those restrictions. He says he couldn't even eat "quickly publicly" as a result.
Joey "Jaws" Chestnut again took the Mustard Belt after swallowing 54 hot dogs and buns.
In a statement, the organizer criticized Kobayashi's actions but also shared good wishes for the former champ.
"Takeru Kobayashi's actions at the Hot Dog Contest in Coney Island were inappropriate and unfortunate, but it did not diminish Joey Chestnut's victory, or the holiday tradition that dates back generations," the statement from Major League Eating read. "Kobayashi was a great champion and we hope that he is able to resolve his current situation and move past this."
Kobayashi will be back in court August 5.
Major League Eating? America, you fat slut.
And look at this picture of Kobayashi:
Does he kind of remind you of a teenage mutant ninja turtle? Or of the guy from 300 who's all deformed but still wicked jacked? Those abdominal walls are working OT.
I completely forgot about the 4th of July hot dog eating contest. I love watching it because it is simply America at it's excessively bloated worst. And I'm not knocking my country for it, I'm just cynical. But it's so insane how other countries are starving and America has competetive eaters who try and stuff as much food into their bodies as humanly possible. I wonder if there are TVs in Africa where emaciated people watch this and cry. Kind of like if Gallagher had tried to take his comedy act on an African Tour. He'd wheel out a shopping cart full of fruits and vegetables in front of an audience and the people's eyes would light up and they'd be looking at Gallagher ready to worship him as a God. Then G-Man would start smashing fruit with his oversized mallet.
Gallagher: Y'all ready to smash some fruit?!
Ethiopians: What did he say? We can eat?
Gallagher: Y'all bring yer ponchos!
Ethiopians: What's the hammer for?
BLAM!
Ethipoians: NOOOO! Why does the God punish us?
It would be mayhem.
But this year I really missed out with the 4th of July contest, because apparently some shit went down:
Brooklyn, New York (CNN) -- With only a sandwich and a glass of milk to fill his legendary stomach after a night in jail, one-time hot dog champ Takeru Kobayashi walked out of court Monday declaring, "I'm hungry!"
Kobayashi was released on his own recognizance a day after he rushed the stage at the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, a competition that he had been barred from this year because of a contract dispute with organizer Major League Eating.
Meeting with reporters after his hearing, he said, "I went as a spectator to cheer on my friends, and everyone was yelling 'let him eat,' so I was hoping they would let me eat and prove I am still the champ."
After rushing the stage Sunday in a T-shirt that read "Free Kobi," Kobayashi was surrounded by police and taken away charged with resisting arrest, trespassing and obstruction of governmental affairs.
Kobayashi says the eating contest had placed more restrictions on him this year, and he was protesting those restrictions. He says he couldn't even eat "quickly publicly" as a result.
Joey "Jaws" Chestnut again took the Mustard Belt after swallowing 54 hot dogs and buns.
In a statement, the organizer criticized Kobayashi's actions but also shared good wishes for the former champ.
"Takeru Kobayashi's actions at the Hot Dog Contest in Coney Island were inappropriate and unfortunate, but it did not diminish Joey Chestnut's victory, or the holiday tradition that dates back generations," the statement from Major League Eating read. "Kobayashi was a great champion and we hope that he is able to resolve his current situation and move past this."
Kobayashi will be back in court August 5.
Major League Eating? America, you fat slut.
And look at this picture of Kobayashi:
Does he kind of remind you of a teenage mutant ninja turtle? Or of the guy from 300 who's all deformed but still wicked jacked? Those abdominal walls are working OT.
This reminds me of water parks. Millions of people in the world don't have clean water to drink. Americans... We play in it.
ReplyDeleteOn the nose, Rosie. You know what, I LOVE America, but you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes. Plus we're not the only ones. Thre's an annual food-fight in Spain called La Tomatina where tens-of-thousands of people throw hundreds-of-thousands of tomatoes at each other, destroying possible sustenance and drenching the city in tomato juice. Then they hose the city clean...with very drinkable water.
ReplyDelete