I POST THIS BECAUSE SHARING IS CARING

DOES DAVE FARROW REMEMBER?

LOL, uuhhhh. YA!  he remembers.  IIIM PRETTTTTY SUUUURE HE REMEMMBBEERS.  He's got three brain gears dude.  3.

but seriously, nice face.  he could probably use same DVD cover and replace "memory" with "date raping."  World Record Holder for Greatest Date Raping..."Yeah baby, the martini IS supposed to be fizzling from the bottom like that..."

  what a scam.  I love how he's only the "world Record Holder for Greatest Memory"  not "World."  little known secret, if you don't capitalize the 'w' in world you can really claim anything.  son of fuzzy is the world Record Holder for Greatest Blog.

ASIANS IN THE LIBRARY...SO HOT RIGHT NOW

So basically this is what happens in the uber-user-friendly internet age where even dumb blondes can upload onto YouTube.com.  What a dolt.  I barely made it through this whole "rant."  It's almost as moronic as Charlie Sheen's mumlbings (who for some reason is being called "surprisingly intelligent" because of his big-word-laden rants.   Let me clarify:  "Well-Spoken" means you can put forth well-constructed sentences...even if they are absent of idea.  "Intelligent" is when you can put forth well-constructed ideas.  "Charlie Sheen" is more-or-less neither...he is one helluva drug tho.)

But let's completely disregard this chick for the moment, she'll probably drown next time she sticks her head in a bucket of bleach anyway.  Actually, she'll probably get a reality TV deal out of this...just another reason to ignore her.

The reason I'm not interested in this video is because it was kind of a necessary evil that has led me to a little gem of a blog called "Asians Sleeping In The Library."  Clearly not the kind of Asian students that Little Miss Slut-Slut was talking about these Asians are just a-SNOOZIN with a capital S-N-O-O-Z-I-N.  In the library, in the computer lab, during lecture.  It's awesome.  I don't know why it's just Asians.  I do not care -  I just want more.

http://asianssleepinginthelibrary.tumblr.com/



and just for laughs:

THE AXIS OF AWESOME, MAKIN' IT LOOK E-Z

what the hell am I writing comedy for? I'm picking guitar back up, learning 4 chords and then going on tour.

MASTER OF PUPPETS OF THE UNIVERSE

So I'm supposed to be doing something important and then Masters of the Universe came on the TV and I just fell into an "awful 80's movie trance." Like when it's so bad you don't want to look away. But there was something so magical too.  I think it was the puppets.  And then the puppets got me to thinking, could you imagine seeing a puppet in a modern day production?  Like what if one of the CSI shows had a muppet technician just walking around, always behind a waist-high counter top.  It's not that far fetched either, I mean Alf had his own show in '86, that's only 25 years ago. Is that crazy to anyone else?  Puppets used to be characters in serious movies.  And not just shits-and-giggle movies, like Oscar nominated films used puppets. You picking up what I'm putting down?


I think it's kind of ignored by a lot of people in Hollywood, like it's a source of shame. 1980s puppets are to movies  what slavery and segregation is to America.  It was everywhere and it was wrong.  Everyone HAD to have known, deep down somewhere, that it was wrong but it was just the way things were.  A way of life.

Let me put what I'm saying into perspective:  Imagine if Avatar was made with all puppets.  BAM!   It would have been like Labrynth where there were puppets everywhere you looked...I'm pretty sure there was even one in Bowie's tights.

Here's an off the cuff list of some of the best puppet movies/TV shows:  As a matter of fact, let's put on some Dance, Magic, Dance.  This song is Track #1 on my Boner Jamz mix tape I use to set the mood for my lady friend.  I'm usually asked to shut it off.


Puppet Master
The Muppets
Labrynth
Fragile Rock
Sesame Street
Alf
Masters of the Universe
The Star Wars movies

I know that the list is short, and I'm trying to think of one movie that my buddy used to always make us watch.  It scared the shit outta me.  And I'd sound stupid describing it becuase all I could say was "uhh, there were puppets.  Lot's of em.  A pasture of muppets..."   Some help on this?



Oh, and to leave you with a literal questions: IS there anything more scary than this character's face from Masters of the Universe?

Aside from Suzanne Sommers 2.0, I'd say no.  And this puppet probably was like top-shelf, award winning craft.  And now it's just a joke on a fuckin shitty blog.  25 years is a long time I guess.

CAN WE GIVE OUT A BEST COMMERCIAL AWARD FOR THE YEAR YET?

Because Cheetos is getting my vote.  Hands down, the best commercials on the boob tube at the moment.







IMPRESSIVE SIR!  Who ever wrote these things deserves an Oscar, a Grammy, a Nobel Peace Prize and a blowjob all rolled into one award.  The funny thing is that I hate Cheetos.  It's actually not even funny.  I really do not enjoy Cheetos.  Now, if you give me a full box of Chee-zits then I'll give you back an empty box of Cheezits.  Love em.  Can't get enough of them.  Cheetos: no dice.

WWW.DIRTYWATERNEWS.COM

So Dirty Water News has launched a brand new website. and sof is being featured like a mofo so check it out.

Also, if you are a blogger yourself they are actively recruiting and it is very easy to sign up. Plus chicks dig bloggers. That's a scientific fact.

WHITE GUY DUNKS

It's just not the same...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

OHHHH WAIT, WAITWAIT WAIT, I THOUGHT OF ONE!

Fact: Chuck Norris's Mother lives in his basement.

are Chuck Norris jokes still popular in 2011? or has that ship been roundhouse kicked to sea?

SO THIS GUY CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING? THIS GUY...RIGHT HERE?

  Alright, let's start with explaining that haircut, homeboy.  No?  Can't explain it, can you?   My work is done here.

MATT HARDIE'S RADIO SHOW "THE ECLECTIC TASTE" GETS ITS OWN WEBPAGE

http://cyberstationlive.com/theeclectictaste
The Hardiest Workin' Man in radio gets his own webpage.  'bout damn time Cyber Station!  Pretty soon he'll be able to load up every show he does right onto the site so that you can listen whenever you want.

Tune in on Tuesdays at 11 PM at cyberstationlive.com to check out some of the music you've been missing out on if you only tune into mainstream FM stations.  Matt's format is closer to satellite radio in that he's not required to play the newest Kings of Leon song three times an hour.

http://cyberstationlive.com/theeclectictaste

And all plugging aside, Hardie knows his stuff.  He's a long time rocker, his rendition of ACDC's "Thunderstruck" at NQHS Battle of the Bands 2004 gave the entire crowd an orgasm, and an avid concertgoer.  From listening to his show I've added a bunch of tunes to my Droid's music selection and I've picked up a ton of the beer that he highlights on his "Beer Enthusiast" section.  Whether it's Pretty Things, Ipwich Ale, Sierra Nevada Stout (which tastes like the soul of a winter lager is in a stout's body), I've yet to be dissappointed by his microbrew picks.

Be sure to tune in this Tuesday Janurary 18 as Matt Hardie plays the top ten Hardiest songs of 2010.

Any questions, requests, suggestions, full body pics or personal measurements can be sent to :
matthewphardie@gmail.com

http://cyberstationlive.com/theeclectictaste

THIS HEADLINE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD THAT I MAC'N'CHEESED MY UNDERPANTS

"(comcast.net) --- Did Oprah Really Devour 30 Pounds of Mac 'n' Cheese?!


It's probably safe to say the movie Bride of Chucky is not one of Oprah Winfrey 's favorite things.
In an outtake from her interview airing next Monday on the debut episode of Piers Morgan Tonight, the talk-show queen indirectly blames a certain maniacal doll for creating a huge hankering for a popular creamy concoction.

Winfrey tells Morgan that when her film Beloved came out in 1998, its lack of success during opening weekend caused her to go into "a massive, depressive macaroni and cheese-eating tailspin."

"It premiered on a Friday and I remember hearing on Saturday morning that we got beat by something called Chucky," she recalls. "I didn't even know what Chucky was. So, I asked my chef at the time to make some macaroni and cheese...and I ate about 30 pounds worth. I'm not kidding!" "


yeah, Oprah that one time you ate 30 lbs of mac and cheese...It's a pretty telling sign when you ask your chef for "some mac-and-cheese" and they instinctively whip up 30 lbs. And I love how she exclaims "I'm NOT kidding!" like anyone doubts that she has the capacity to eat 30 lbs of macaroni and cheese.  I would have loved to have been there right when she said it to point out the leftover orange macaroni stuck in her hair from breakfast that day.   EVERYBODY GETS MAC AND CHEESE!  EVERYONE IS GETTING A MAC AND CHEESE!


I'm really not all that impressed either, it's not like she ate a ton-and-a-half.  My only question to Oprah, "Was there ketchup involved?..."

(1:51 mark)

EXACTLY 2 MILLION FISH FLOP DEAD IN MARYLAND

(CNN) -- Authorities in Maryland are investigating the deaths of about 2 million fish in Chesapeake Bay.

"Natural causes appear to be the reason," the Maryland Department of the Environment said in a news release. "Cold water stress exacerbated by a large population of the affected species (juvenile spot fish) appears to be the cause of the kill."

Thank goodness that Rainman was on hand to count those fish so quickly...yeah, 2 million fish, yeaaahhh, 2, definitely 2 millionnn fiissh.

So is anyone worried considering these news stories also happened:

(CNN) -- "A large number of dead birds were found in the city of Falköping, Sweden, on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, according to the Swedish National Veterinary Institute."

A similar unusual incident occurred in Arkansas on New Year's Eve. Thousands of red-winged blackbirds and starlings were found dead over a square-mile area in the town of Beebe.

In a separate incident, some 500 red-winged blackbirds, starlings and sparrows were found dead Monday morning in the southern Louisiana community of Labarre.


Either some redneck has built the biggest most badass hunting weapon ever, or we're going to see some life imitating art on a Biblical scale.

LOCK UP YA DAUGHTER, LOCK UP YA WIFE

Credit to Kevin Plauski for submitting the pre-mugshot (what does it say about me if my Droid just tried to autocorrect 'mugshot' to 'cumshot' ?...twice. yuu durty rittre Droid)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

CHUCK NORRIS JUST BITCHSLAPPED MY PREGNANCY PICTURE IDEA

Loud and clear, Chuck.  I knew I was trying to wear boots that my feet couldn't fill when I talked about trying to come up with the best prego picture. What did I say, a dumbbell, a bazooka and 2 pregnant chicks?  How lame is that?    Chuck is holding the world; meaning he has EVERY pregnant women living on it in his prego picture. And I thought fighting off a wild animal was cool...Chuck killed a dinosaur for his. Fuckin' Chuck Norris. 

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

THE ARBY'S BANDIT IS BACK !

If you got real drunk last night and made a New Year's mistake then you might find some wiener cheese within the next week, but if you haven't then you gotta go to Arby's. I mean, if you have never had Arby's famous Chocolate Penis with their Wiener Cheese on it...you haven't lived.  My mouth is watering vomit just thinking about it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! FIREWORKS ANYONE?

Let's start 2011 off the right way here; by singling out someone that I hate. Well, 'hate' is a strong word. I just think he needs to check himself, and he is:

That's right, I don't like the new Free Credit Score guy.

I'll admit, I like him better than the last guy,

<--who was just out of his league. I mean, the Geico gekko is playing chess while that guy was playing with monkeys in a barrel...I'm not even sure he could play guitar. When you have a powerhouse like the gekko in your field, you have to bring your A-game. The ad execs know this, so they bring in some fresh talent.

So this new guy won a contest with his band and now they get to write all the new songs. Given, the new songs definitely sound better. I just think he does it with a little too much attitude. Like, he really BELIEVES that he's rockin'. I can picture him kicking open the door to a bar and standing in the threshold. As he scans the crowd of faces from left to right he makes eye contact with a hottie and thinks to himself, "I'm the Free-Credit-Score guy." Check your ego report, chief. You won't regret it all.

FLASH MOBS...SO HOT RIGHT NOW

That was a pretty slick surprise. All the way down to how they had the guy dress up like a janitor...but I hope that floor wasn't actually wet because someone may have slipped on it after he took the sign.

This video has over 20 million hits right now, it's not as good as the dancing wedding line, but it's pretty damn good. Now CUE the endless imitators its going to spawn. Everyone is going to try and top it. And as others 'try' I will 'do.' Check this out: I am going to organize a Flash Orgy. Imagine those news reports?

Picture it: it'd be basically the same scene as in the video above, in a crowded mall food court. All of a sudden a woman stands up and screams "OH YEAH! SEX!" and starts taking her clothes off. So everyone looks at her and is like WTF? Then a guy way up in the rafters screams "SEX? OHHH YEEEAAAH!" and hits play on a giant boombox he's holding Now everyone is looking up at him and notices he's harnessed--naked--to a zipline. So then he ziplines down over the crowd and lands in the woman..then a janitor rips off his coveralls, throws a fistful of glitter in the air and screams "FLASH ORGY!" Then it would just-get-WILD. Techno is shaking the room, Naked people would start popping up outta trash cans and closets and start doing it on all the tables. I'd pay a guy to turn the light switches on and off really fast so the room's light strobed.  Imagine how many YouTube hits that'd get?

NOVEMBER 10 IS MIKE MITCHELL DAY

Mike Mitchell Day in Quincy, MA from WGO Show on Vimeo.

Awesome.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. And it's right before my birthday, double celebration next year. But somebody better check on Michael Cassady there because I think he just got on the G-Town bus. Considering he calls it Quin-cee, I'd imagine he'd have a bit of trouble out there.

I've heard about Mike's show, plus he is in a group called the Birthday Boys they just put out a funny video about Pool Jumpers.  It is a wicked funny spoof on Dog Town and teh Z Boys.... "I must have got kicked out of 30,40 pools a summer---and those were just my family and friends."  If you've seen any of those documentaries about people who started popular trends, anything from graffiti to skating in pools to Canadian curling, the Birthday Boys take that tone and play it perfectly.  Check it out.

Here is Mike MItchell's talk show webpage:
What's Going On with Quincy's own Mike Mitchell

THE W-T-F-LINK OF THE DAY

So do I masturbate or not?

I don't know if you wanna see more pictures like this, but you should click that link because they're friggin hilarious.  It's all "creative" ideas of pregnancy pictures.    I'm trying to come up with my own ideas now, but it'd be pretty tough to top these folks.  I'm thinking the only way I could be more outrageous was if my picture had TWO pregnant women, showed penetration, one prego was holding a bazooka and I was performing some kind of feat of strength like holding a dumbbell overhead and fighting off a wild animal at the same time.  It's gonna be tough but the showman inside of me is telling me I gotta give it a try...


Thanks to Kikken for helping a brother out and sharing this.

BRETT FAVRE'S STREAK ENDS

I love it.  It's over.  Now we can focus on the real news...like North Korea trying to book Eric Clapton for a concert, "Raaayrahh....got Kim-Jong on my knees, Rayrah."

This was definitely way more complicated and drawn out than it had to be.  And no not even just his retirement in general (knock on wood), I mean just his status for this past week.  The guy's shoulder is decimated.  Was it just that nobody had the balls to drop reality on him?  Because I could have done it.  Hey Brett, your shoulder is fucked.  You probably couldn't even pick up your dick to sext it to anyone.  I'd say chucking the pigskin 50 yards is out of the question. 

But I bet it wasn't that no one would tell him, I bet it's just that trying to tell him he can't play is like trying to hammer nails into concrete.  It's probably a running joke at his doctor's office.  All the nurses are huddled outside the door laughing as the Doctor explains, "In my medical opinion, it would be impossible for you to play the quarterback position at a competitive level given that your throwing arm is hanging onto your body by a thread."  Brett is like, "Well, don't sugar-coat it man. What odds ya givin' me, like 50-50?" 

When Brett Favre dies, probably a 1000 years from now, I hope his tombstone reads: 

Here Lies The Body Of

Brett Favre

b. 10/10/1969  -  d.12/14/3010

....he'll be a game time decision on Sunday.