OHHHH WAIT, WAITWAIT WAIT, I THOUGHT OF ONE!

Fact: Chuck Norris's Mother lives in his basement.

are Chuck Norris jokes still popular in 2011? or has that ship been roundhouse kicked to sea?

SO THIS GUY CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING? THIS GUY...RIGHT HERE?

  Alright, let's start with explaining that haircut, homeboy.  No?  Can't explain it, can you?   My work is done here.

MATT HARDIE'S RADIO SHOW "THE ECLECTIC TASTE" GETS ITS OWN WEBPAGE

http://cyberstationlive.com/theeclectictaste
The Hardiest Workin' Man in radio gets his own webpage.  'bout damn time Cyber Station!  Pretty soon he'll be able to load up every show he does right onto the site so that you can listen whenever you want.

Tune in on Tuesdays at 11 PM at cyberstationlive.com to check out some of the music you've been missing out on if you only tune into mainstream FM stations.  Matt's format is closer to satellite radio in that he's not required to play the newest Kings of Leon song three times an hour.

http://cyberstationlive.com/theeclectictaste

And all plugging aside, Hardie knows his stuff.  He's a long time rocker, his rendition of ACDC's "Thunderstruck" at NQHS Battle of the Bands 2004 gave the entire crowd an orgasm, and an avid concertgoer.  From listening to his show I've added a bunch of tunes to my Droid's music selection and I've picked up a ton of the beer that he highlights on his "Beer Enthusiast" section.  Whether it's Pretty Things, Ipwich Ale, Sierra Nevada Stout (which tastes like the soul of a winter lager is in a stout's body), I've yet to be dissappointed by his microbrew picks.

Be sure to tune in this Tuesday Janurary 18 as Matt Hardie plays the top ten Hardiest songs of 2010.

Any questions, requests, suggestions, full body pics or personal measurements can be sent to :
matthewphardie@gmail.com

http://cyberstationlive.com/theeclectictaste

THIS HEADLINE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD THAT I MAC'N'CHEESED MY UNDERPANTS

"(comcast.net) --- Did Oprah Really Devour 30 Pounds of Mac 'n' Cheese?!


It's probably safe to say the movie Bride of Chucky is not one of Oprah Winfrey 's favorite things.
In an outtake from her interview airing next Monday on the debut episode of Piers Morgan Tonight, the talk-show queen indirectly blames a certain maniacal doll for creating a huge hankering for a popular creamy concoction.

Winfrey tells Morgan that when her film Beloved came out in 1998, its lack of success during opening weekend caused her to go into "a massive, depressive macaroni and cheese-eating tailspin."

"It premiered on a Friday and I remember hearing on Saturday morning that we got beat by something called Chucky," she recalls. "I didn't even know what Chucky was. So, I asked my chef at the time to make some macaroni and cheese...and I ate about 30 pounds worth. I'm not kidding!" "


yeah, Oprah that one time you ate 30 lbs of mac and cheese...It's a pretty telling sign when you ask your chef for "some mac-and-cheese" and they instinctively whip up 30 lbs. And I love how she exclaims "I'm NOT kidding!" like anyone doubts that she has the capacity to eat 30 lbs of macaroni and cheese.  I would have loved to have been there right when she said it to point out the leftover orange macaroni stuck in her hair from breakfast that day.   EVERYBODY GETS MAC AND CHEESE!  EVERYONE IS GETTING A MAC AND CHEESE!


I'm really not all that impressed either, it's not like she ate a ton-and-a-half.  My only question to Oprah, "Was there ketchup involved?..."

(1:51 mark)

EXACTLY 2 MILLION FISH FLOP DEAD IN MARYLAND

(CNN) -- Authorities in Maryland are investigating the deaths of about 2 million fish in Chesapeake Bay.

"Natural causes appear to be the reason," the Maryland Department of the Environment said in a news release. "Cold water stress exacerbated by a large population of the affected species (juvenile spot fish) appears to be the cause of the kill."

Thank goodness that Rainman was on hand to count those fish so quickly...yeah, 2 million fish, yeaaahhh, 2, definitely 2 millionnn fiissh.

So is anyone worried considering these news stories also happened:

(CNN) -- "A large number of dead birds were found in the city of Falköping, Sweden, on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, according to the Swedish National Veterinary Institute."

A similar unusual incident occurred in Arkansas on New Year's Eve. Thousands of red-winged blackbirds and starlings were found dead over a square-mile area in the town of Beebe.

In a separate incident, some 500 red-winged blackbirds, starlings and sparrows were found dead Monday morning in the southern Louisiana community of Labarre.


Either some redneck has built the biggest most badass hunting weapon ever, or we're going to see some life imitating art on a Biblical scale.

LOCK UP YA DAUGHTER, LOCK UP YA WIFE

Credit to Kevin Plauski for submitting the pre-mugshot (what does it say about me if my Droid just tried to autocorrect 'mugshot' to 'cumshot' ?...twice. yuu durty rittre Droid)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

CHUCK NORRIS JUST BITCHSLAPPED MY PREGNANCY PICTURE IDEA

Loud and clear, Chuck.  I knew I was trying to wear boots that my feet couldn't fill when I talked about trying to come up with the best prego picture. What did I say, a dumbbell, a bazooka and 2 pregnant chicks?  How lame is that?    Chuck is holding the world; meaning he has EVERY pregnant women living on it in his prego picture. And I thought fighting off a wild animal was cool...Chuck killed a dinosaur for his. Fuckin' Chuck Norris. 

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

THE ARBY'S BANDIT IS BACK !

If you got real drunk last night and made a New Year's mistake then you might find some wiener cheese within the next week, but if you haven't then you gotta go to Arby's. I mean, if you have never had Arby's famous Chocolate Penis with their Wiener Cheese on it...you haven't lived.  My mouth is watering vomit just thinking about it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! FIREWORKS ANYONE?

Let's start 2011 off the right way here; by singling out someone that I hate. Well, 'hate' is a strong word. I just think he needs to check himself, and he is:

That's right, I don't like the new Free Credit Score guy.

I'll admit, I like him better than the last guy,

<--who was just out of his league. I mean, the Geico gekko is playing chess while that guy was playing with monkeys in a barrel...I'm not even sure he could play guitar. When you have a powerhouse like the gekko in your field, you have to bring your A-game. The ad execs know this, so they bring in some fresh talent.

So this new guy won a contest with his band and now they get to write all the new songs. Given, the new songs definitely sound better. I just think he does it with a little too much attitude. Like, he really BELIEVES that he's rockin'. I can picture him kicking open the door to a bar and standing in the threshold. As he scans the crowd of faces from left to right he makes eye contact with a hottie and thinks to himself, "I'm the Free-Credit-Score guy." Check your ego report, chief. You won't regret it all.