BLAST. THE HIP-HOP-LOLLIPOP DRINK...SO HOT RIGHT NOW

"(CNN) -- Seventeen state attorneys general are urging Pabst Brewing Co. to stop marketing to young drinkers and halt production of a new malt beverage promoted by rapper Snoop Dogg.
In a letter sent to the Pabst Brewing Co., Maryland Attorney General Douglas F. Gansler says "Blast" by Colt 45 is a 'binge-in-a-can" that targets youth. Gansler was joined by attorneys general from Arizona, California, Connecticut, Guam, Idaho, Iowa, Illinois, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts, New Mexico, Ohio, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, and Washington.
San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera also joined the petition, according to a written statement.
The makers of the new fruity blend came under fire after advocacy groups and politicians raised questions about its marketing campaign.
The drink, in a colorful 23.5-ounce can that resembles soda pop but has an alcohol content of 12%, more potent than a typical can of beer.
"They're marketing it as a single serving when in reality it's five servings in a can," said Raquel Guillory, spokeswoman for the Maryland attorney general. "We hope they would be a good corporate citizen."
Paul Porter of Industry Ears, a media watchdog group, says "Colt 45 makers are raising the alcohol level from the already high 6% to the even higher 12%, and enticing young people with hip hop themes and lollipop flavors.""

In related news, I'm going straight to the packy to pick up some Blast.  Probably gonna blast one while I'm strolling to the register, a second as I'm paying  and then a third as I pee in my jeans, pass out and break my face on the "NOT AN EXIT" door.   Does this guy know how to party or what!?

State attorneys are so silly.  I would have never have heard about Blast unless they launched a massive campaign saying how drunk it gets you.  It's like Adam and Eve with God.  Adam and Even were all "Hey God what's up."  And God replied, "DON'T EAT THAT FRUIT!!" And Eve was like, "What fruit?---oh this fruit.  Hmm, tempting now that I know about it. *crunch*"  (did I get that story right?  I went to public schools so I'm ill versed in...just about every subject.)

I love Pabst defense of their hip-hop, lollipop beverage:

"As with all Pabst products, our marketing efforts for Blast are focused on conveying the message of drinking responsibly," the statement said. "To that end, the alcohol content of Blast is clearly marked on its packaging."


Yes, the alcohol content IS clearly marked.  Yet, you also clearly marked the term "Blast" on its packaging soooo...  Not even the Twister of Linguistics himself could spin that bullshit.  If you're doing something at 'blast-speed' then chances are you aren't doing it responsibly.  Watch:

"Hey I'm gonna blast feed this baby"
"We're just gonna blast through this Bakini wax process"
"I'm just gonna blast this last Jenga piece on"
Surgeon : "and now that I've made my initial incision I am just pretty much gonna blast these conjoined twins apart!"
Doctor performing adult circumcision : "Now I'm just gonna blast this foreskin off...."

I actually did find one exception:
"I'm gonna blast this fire with a fire extinguisher."
Unless of course it was preceded with:
"Hey guys, I'm gonna blast some meth!"

This one almost worked too:
"Blast this guy with the defibrillator!"
unless...:
"Hey watch, I'm gonna blast this guy with a defibrillator"

I think I've blasted my point.