NEW YORK— (Beth Harpaz - AP Writer) - Second-graders who can't tie shoes or zip jackets. Four-year-olds in Pull-Ups diapers. Five-year-olds in strollers. Teens and preteens befuddled by can openers and ice-cube trays. College kids who've never done laundry, taken a bus alone or addressed an envelope.
Are we raising a generation of nincompoops? And do we have only ourselves to blame? Susan Maushart, a mother of three, says her teenage daughter "literally does not know how to use a can opener. Most cans come with pull-tops these days. I see her reaching for a can that requires a can opener, and her shoulders slump and she goes for something else."
Teenagers are so accustomed to either throwing their clothes on the floor or hanging them on hooks that Maushart says her "kids actually struggle with the mechanics of a clothes hanger."
Many kids never learn to do ordinary household tasks. They have no chores. Take-out and drive-through meals have replaced home cooking. And busy families who can afford it often outsource house-cleaning and lawn care.
Mark Bauerlein, author of the best-selling book "The Dumbest Generation," which contends that cyberculture is turning young people into know-nothings, says "the absence of technology" confuses kids faced with simple mechanical tasks.
"It's so all laid out for them," said Maushart, author of the forthcoming book "The Winter of Our Disconnect," about her efforts to wean her family from its dependence on technology. "Having so much comfort and ease is what has led to this situation -- the Velcro sneakers, the Pull-Ups generation. You can pee in your pants and we'll take care of it for you!"
Hey you old assholes guess what: Young Americans can't address envelopes because of a little something called e-mail. We're going paperless, get with the times. Are you upset we can't saddle a horse or don't know the pick-up/drop-off times for the Pony Express too? (google it)
Oh, and know why can't we do our laundry? Little invention I like to call "illegal aliens." Ever heard of a Mexican? You think it's a coincidence that millions of people are here illegally doing all our dirty work? No, it's because we don't want to do that shit anymore so we opened up the borders....and we slashed wages.
And Can-openers? Are you shitting me? What is this lady feeding her daughter, dog food?? I mean, I can only use a can opener because I gotta get me that tuna protein but I'm pretty sure a can opener is one of the most awkward kitchen utensils ever made. And hey! here's a crazy idea: instead of watching and laughing as your daughter tries to feed herself and then blogging about how retarded she is....go fucken help her! You people wonder why we're all "clueless."
The thing that tickles me the most is this we're being labeled the "dumbest generation" by people who couldn't figure out how to use condoms and ruined sex forever by riddling the population with STDs, and the state officials who thought that segregation was a solid institution that helped protect civil rights. Plus they nearly ended the world with nuclear weapons. And invented sitcoms. You wonder why the youth doesn't want to learn shit from you.
PS - I hate to be the one who has to point it out to you -- but if your kid is struggling with the "mechanics" of a clothes hangar, a solid object with no movable parts, and he is peeing his pants...then he might be a retard. So you're calling retarded people nincompoops.
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